Hey All! Many thanks to Meaghan for keeping me nice and distracted this weekend. Glad I could be of service, and glad you could come shopping with me! And also, thanks to Brian and Ducky for making me giggle.
:)
So, another weekend. Funny, they don't seem to last that long. Yesterday I was bored out of my skull for a few minutes there, and I realized then that if I'm bored, it means I"m falling back into old habits. I can't do that. Not this time. So, I accomplished things. Nothing major, not half of the things I wanted to accomplish, but things nonetheless.
I cleaned my room! Go me!
I wrote out my definitions for Multiculturalism
I came up with some references for the Office Manager
I went to the bank and bled my wallet dry
I got food! Yay!
I watched Saved! It was good, better than I was expecting. No, Sarah, I haven't watched Garden State yet. It's still on the list though.
I got Meaghan hooked on Penn&Teller's Bullshit!, which rocks! I need to start downloading the 3rd season though.
No word from Nathan recently. That makes me kinda sad. Brian says that his new girl is really nice, and that she has a kid... I think that's great for him, and I want to see him happy. I really hope this works for him. I haven't heard from Todd either, not since crashing the hangover more than a week ago. At first, it made me sad. Then I realized, I actually don't care. Nor should I. Not to be harsh or anything, but it's the truth: He's Todd. He shows up and leaves as it's convienient for him. That's just the way he is. I don't really like that trait in a person, but oh well.
And on a related note (sort of) I've started having these... dreams. About someone I think most of you know (no, I'm not telling you who). They're very... good, very romantic dreams. And I do like the guy. I have for a while. See, he's seeing someone though. Someone most of you also know. It's frustrating on 2 fronts really... One, I really don't want a relationship, no matter what my unconcious mind is trying to convince me of, and Two... Even if I did, I can't have him. He's shown nothing but devotion to her for years now. Actually, since I've known him. This is why I hate dreams sometimes...
Actually, one of the guys in my class told me on Friday that he had a dream about me. It was kinda wierd... He just came up to me and started talking about this dream he had, that we were in this house, and we were surrounded by ghosts, and that only I could talk to them, and then I was looking at a clock, and making predictions of things that started happening... And all the while, I'm thinking... We talked for about 30 seconds when we met. Why are you dreaming about me? I know we can't control that, but... And he's a nice enough guy, not bad looking... He reminds me of Camron from Ferris Buler's Day Off (in looks, not actions), but something keeps coming back to why me? I've seen the people he hangs out with... they're the cheerleader types. I'm not exactly a cheerleader, so much as a squrril on speed. I'm a theatre geek, and he's trying to form a basketball team.
I'm so totally reading way, WAY too much into this. But it was just wierd. It threw me off. I don't know if I like it... I don't know that I don't like it either. It all seems a little bit too much like that time in grade school... the first person to ever ask me to dance did so on a dare. He was DARED to dance with me, and they all laughed and called me "peachy". He was one of the popular guys, and it felt so wierd to be asked to dance by someone like that... so wierd that it couldn't be real. Deep down, I think I knew it wasn't. I'm not saying that there's no possible way that he could hold intrest in me, because it's happened before so there must be something there... I'm just saying that there's no possible way it's... real. It's novelty or necessity or something.
Yeah...Anyways, enough of that. Moving on...
So, now I'm going to wash up, then go to bed. Tomorrow is my 8.30am-12.30pm day, and I get the feeling that it may run longer. Plus I want to get a start on some of the other assignments and things, so I can be ready for the wall of work when it hits. I lleave you with this:
A Student's Prayer
And now as I lay down to sleep,
I hope I'll make it one more week.
And if, at Six, I cannot wake...
A later bus I'll have to take.
If you're going to screw it up, do it BIG... people will think you're doing it on Purpose.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
September 17, 2006
September 14, 2006
Good Stuff!
Today was awsome. I was elected Secretary, along with a girl named Rikki, for our Community Organization class (the fundraising class), I dropped STS, AND I have an interview tomorrow for the job at the NUSU/CSRC office!
ROCK!
I got some more studying done, which was good. I'm not all that ahead, but I'm still doing reasonably well. I think, at least.
I read Go Ask Alice and... Well, I was disappointed. I mean, I get that it's a true story, but it just seemed so... Random. And the ending was a bit of a let down. It was just strange. I guess, since I'm used to an actual "novel", that the "diary" set-up of the story was just too foreign. Oh, well.
It's almost 9pm. I'm thinking about doing some more studying. Maybe for interviewing. My Sociology Cards are up-to date with where the class is, and I can't start the substance abuse cards until I know how she's going to present the material. It's a little frustrating, but I'm sure I'll muddle through.
I have an appointment tomorrow with Anne Lawson. She's a personal counciler at Canadore. That will be interesting... Going over the story again. At least this time I'm not messed up seeking help, I'm just doing preventative maintnence.
I have a list of things to do this weekend, aside from watching the movies. I could maybe start some of that now... I'm tired, but I'm not tired enough to convince myself that I should sleep. Maybe in another hour or two. But I have to get a bunch of housekeeping stuff done this weekend, because the following weekend is already booked solid. I might even have to go grocery shopping... Joy. One thing Post-Secondary has taught me more than anything else: how to feel guilty for spending money. Blarg. Soon, though, I will have a job of some sort, and then I will spend... slightly more, and feel slightly less guilty about it.
One of my classmates (as I found out today) is Alex. Alex used to be Ana's roomate. The last few times I saw him, things were not so pleasant around that apartment, but now that a year has past, and aparently he spent some time in Africa, he seems... mellower. It's this kinda wierd kick to the past... And it's also strange that I don't really talk to Dave or Ana anymore, yet Alex shows up. Fate's got a bizarre sense of humor.
Oh, tomorrow... One more day, and then the weekend. And thank god for that... I can sense the edge of a "things are getting out of hand" episode, and I think I'm actually prepared to bite the bullet and head it off at the pass. It's nice to feel productive again, expecially when it comes to academics. Things had just started to get so... stale.
Ok... Homework. Definitions, Maybe some reading... Nothing heavy. I like it.
ROCK!
I got some more studying done, which was good. I'm not all that ahead, but I'm still doing reasonably well. I think, at least.
I read Go Ask Alice and... Well, I was disappointed. I mean, I get that it's a true story, but it just seemed so... Random. And the ending was a bit of a let down. It was just strange. I guess, since I'm used to an actual "novel", that the "diary" set-up of the story was just too foreign. Oh, well.
It's almost 9pm. I'm thinking about doing some more studying. Maybe for interviewing. My Sociology Cards are up-to date with where the class is, and I can't start the substance abuse cards until I know how she's going to present the material. It's a little frustrating, but I'm sure I'll muddle through.
I have an appointment tomorrow with Anne Lawson. She's a personal counciler at Canadore. That will be interesting... Going over the story again. At least this time I'm not messed up seeking help, I'm just doing preventative maintnence.
I have a list of things to do this weekend, aside from watching the movies. I could maybe start some of that now... I'm tired, but I'm not tired enough to convince myself that I should sleep. Maybe in another hour or two. But I have to get a bunch of housekeeping stuff done this weekend, because the following weekend is already booked solid. I might even have to go grocery shopping... Joy. One thing Post-Secondary has taught me more than anything else: how to feel guilty for spending money. Blarg. Soon, though, I will have a job of some sort, and then I will spend... slightly more, and feel slightly less guilty about it.
One of my classmates (as I found out today) is Alex. Alex used to be Ana's roomate. The last few times I saw him, things were not so pleasant around that apartment, but now that a year has past, and aparently he spent some time in Africa, he seems... mellower. It's this kinda wierd kick to the past... And it's also strange that I don't really talk to Dave or Ana anymore, yet Alex shows up. Fate's got a bizarre sense of humor.
Oh, tomorrow... One more day, and then the weekend. And thank god for that... I can sense the edge of a "things are getting out of hand" episode, and I think I'm actually prepared to bite the bullet and head it off at the pass. It's nice to feel productive again, expecially when it comes to academics. Things had just started to get so... stale.
Ok... Homework. Definitions, Maybe some reading... Nothing heavy. I like it.
September 13, 2006
And for my next trick...
how to Post Comments: type your comment, fill out the "prove you're not a spambot" box, then hit PREVIEW COMMENT. Once the Preview comes up, Press POST. This seems to be working.
So, you can comment again! For Joy!
Today was... Well, kinda neat, actually.
Sarah came by this morning with homework for me. It's not "do it or I'll fail you!" Homework, it's more of an education in popular culture. So, Sunday night is looking like a movie night, for anyone who wants to join me. The Program is as follows, in no particular order:
1)Garden State
2)Saved!
3)Traffic
4)Requiem for a Dream (for Substance Abuse class)
5)Blow (if I can get it to download... for Substance Abuse class)
So, that was this morning. I have to get my second TB test next week, which means more standing in line and getting stabbed. joy. Class was fine, it's just the yippy kids I can't stand. I mean, the woman's lecturing! Shut up!
Then I sat in the cafeteria with Larkin, Jason, Heather, Lacey, Andrea and Ducky (they weren't all there at once, but they were all there). Jason turned Larkin's bookbag inside out, and there was much laughing about having Larkin meet the culprit in the forest near the tree...
Then I walked Larkin home, only to realize that I had forgotten that I had told geoff and danny that I'd go to a screening of An Inconvenient Truth with them. Unfortunatly, by the time we finally got to the theatre, there were not enough tickets for everyone (there were still people coming in behind us!) so we went into a little used book store, then got A&W. I bought a book called Go Ask Alice, which I think will be very interesting.
Then I came back here, watched some House (sooooo good!), and found out that my lovely Meaghan has broken her thumb in such a way that she must now wear a cast from her knuckles to her elbow. That just has to suck. And that wrist is going to feel wierd when the cast comes off in 4 weeks...
Somewhere in this space of time, however, I did find out something wonderful: The NUSU/CSRC office people want to interview me! I might be working the desk, yo! If not, I'll be working the food bank, which I think I'd like as much... I'll know more tomorrow.
That's really all for now. Try the new comment procedure, let me know how it works... I'd hate to think that people just aren't posting comments.
That would make me a sad puppy.
So, you can comment again! For Joy!
Today was... Well, kinda neat, actually.
Sarah came by this morning with homework for me. It's not "do it or I'll fail you!" Homework, it's more of an education in popular culture. So, Sunday night is looking like a movie night, for anyone who wants to join me. The Program is as follows, in no particular order:
1)Garden State
2)Saved!
3)Traffic
4)Requiem for a Dream (for Substance Abuse class)
5)Blow (if I can get it to download... for Substance Abuse class)
So, that was this morning. I have to get my second TB test next week, which means more standing in line and getting stabbed. joy. Class was fine, it's just the yippy kids I can't stand. I mean, the woman's lecturing! Shut up!
Then I sat in the cafeteria with Larkin, Jason, Heather, Lacey, Andrea and Ducky (they weren't all there at once, but they were all there). Jason turned Larkin's bookbag inside out, and there was much laughing about having Larkin meet the culprit in the forest near the tree...
Then I walked Larkin home, only to realize that I had forgotten that I had told geoff and danny that I'd go to a screening of An Inconvenient Truth with them. Unfortunatly, by the time we finally got to the theatre, there were not enough tickets for everyone (there were still people coming in behind us!) so we went into a little used book store, then got A&W. I bought a book called Go Ask Alice, which I think will be very interesting.
Then I came back here, watched some House (sooooo good!), and found out that my lovely Meaghan has broken her thumb in such a way that she must now wear a cast from her knuckles to her elbow. That just has to suck. And that wrist is going to feel wierd when the cast comes off in 4 weeks...
Somewhere in this space of time, however, I did find out something wonderful: The NUSU/CSRC office people want to interview me! I might be working the desk, yo! If not, I'll be working the food bank, which I think I'd like as much... I'll know more tomorrow.
That's really all for now. Try the new comment procedure, let me know how it works... I'd hate to think that people just aren't posting comments.
That would make me a sad puppy.
September 10, 2006
Half-Assed Reflections...
I'm not in the mood to use my whole ass...
It's just interesting to me how things seem to come full-circle... I mean, people come and go, and come back... Worrys and Fears and Joys and Giddiness all seem to repeat themselves... Places and situations change, but really, it's still same old, same old. Of course, I'm not in the mood to really read through 200 posts, so I might be missing something, but... Maybe for 500 we'll do something special. And if this nightly updating trend continues, we might get there sooner than we think.
So, today: Shopping with Nessa. Yay! then... not so yay. People in North Bay are insane. No Frills was like a zoo, and there were no huge sales that I could see. Though, I think Mike was mad that I bought toilet paper... turns out we now have something like 128 rolls in the house. I just thought it would be nice because he was upset that he couldn't find 3-ply, and I found 3-ply... Anyways... But the elevator adventure when putting away said groceries totally rocked... I don't think I need to go to the gym right away anymore!
Then it was off to Sarah's for more Firefly goodness. Squee! Joss Wheadon has the best sense of humor ever. and I would kill for Inara's costumes, even though I'd never have anywhere to wear something that extravagant. Why don't we do things that involve really dressing up? Oh, yeah, cause we're students, and broke. And because people don't hold balls and galas and coctail parties in North Bay (especially in my age group). And, you know... we're broke. But her wardrobe is just so... lux, and extravagant and elaborate... Brocades and silks and gauzy sleeves and... Gah! Oh, to be a socialite... Or a courtisan... well, maybe without the sex-for-money part...
And now, I'm here. Well, I've been studying for the last couple hours, and I did call mom... So, I've been sort of productive. Oh, and I wrote up a one-page report on a time in my life when I was in "trouble" (honestly, it was difficult to pick just one...), and then discussed what does and doesn't make me a good "helper". It's nice to have assignments that take approx. 30 minutes to throw together and don't require things like quotes and references... And then I learned about groups. Lots about groups. Woo. I should probably read Sociology next... And then eventually I'll be writing up my que cards of questions and answers... It helped in first year of U, why not here? The goal is a big ol' 4.0GPA, or at least an A. A+Honours would send me over the moon, so there will be much studying and reading and general student-ness. You know, to go along with the extra-curricular insanity and borrowing of DVDs and many, many sleepless nights.
Tomorrow there will be class. And it will be... um... ok, I guess. Still working through the "first day"s of some of the classes, so if you need be between 8.30am and 4.30pm, check the cafeteria. I might be there, bored senseless and waiting for someone to distract me. And dear god, do I need distraction. Those chairs are only comfortable for about 2 minutes when you're alone. And then I get all twitchy and jumpy and shakey and... *SpAz!!!*
Which is different from usual because...?
g'night!
It's just interesting to me how things seem to come full-circle... I mean, people come and go, and come back... Worrys and Fears and Joys and Giddiness all seem to repeat themselves... Places and situations change, but really, it's still same old, same old. Of course, I'm not in the mood to really read through 200 posts, so I might be missing something, but... Maybe for 500 we'll do something special. And if this nightly updating trend continues, we might get there sooner than we think.
So, today: Shopping with Nessa. Yay! then... not so yay. People in North Bay are insane. No Frills was like a zoo, and there were no huge sales that I could see. Though, I think Mike was mad that I bought toilet paper... turns out we now have something like 128 rolls in the house. I just thought it would be nice because he was upset that he couldn't find 3-ply, and I found 3-ply... Anyways... But the elevator adventure when putting away said groceries totally rocked... I don't think I need to go to the gym right away anymore!
Then it was off to Sarah's for more Firefly goodness. Squee! Joss Wheadon has the best sense of humor ever. and I would kill for Inara's costumes, even though I'd never have anywhere to wear something that extravagant. Why don't we do things that involve really dressing up? Oh, yeah, cause we're students, and broke. And because people don't hold balls and galas and coctail parties in North Bay (especially in my age group). And, you know... we're broke. But her wardrobe is just so... lux, and extravagant and elaborate... Brocades and silks and gauzy sleeves and... Gah! Oh, to be a socialite... Or a courtisan... well, maybe without the sex-for-money part...
And now, I'm here. Well, I've been studying for the last couple hours, and I did call mom... So, I've been sort of productive. Oh, and I wrote up a one-page report on a time in my life when I was in "trouble" (honestly, it was difficult to pick just one...), and then discussed what does and doesn't make me a good "helper". It's nice to have assignments that take approx. 30 minutes to throw together and don't require things like quotes and references... And then I learned about groups. Lots about groups. Woo. I should probably read Sociology next... And then eventually I'll be writing up my que cards of questions and answers... It helped in first year of U, why not here? The goal is a big ol' 4.0GPA, or at least an A. A+Honours would send me over the moon, so there will be much studying and reading and general student-ness. You know, to go along with the extra-curricular insanity and borrowing of DVDs and many, many sleepless nights.
Tomorrow there will be class. And it will be... um... ok, I guess. Still working through the "first day"s of some of the classes, so if you need be between 8.30am and 4.30pm, check the cafeteria. I might be there, bored senseless and waiting for someone to distract me. And dear god, do I need distraction. Those chairs are only comfortable for about 2 minutes when you're alone. And then I get all twitchy and jumpy and shakey and... *SpAz!!!*
Which is different from usual because...?
g'night!
Post 200!
Wow. I didn't even realize it until I sat down tonight, but this marks my 200th epic misadventure post. wierd.
I might get into more detail on that tomorrow, but I just played 6 hours of D&D Arcainis, and my brain hurts.
Tomorrow I'll be getting up in time to do some readings, maybe go for coffee with Vanessa, then maybe going to Sarah and Larkins for more Firefly. Mmmm... Hot Guys in Westerns set in Space...
Not much else to say right now. Maybe I'm just overlooking things because I'm whipped. But for now, to bed. Tomorrow I'll post about 200 posts, and about other stuff.
BTW, it's looking like the comments portion of my blog isn't working right now. I'm not sure why, but I'll look into it when I get a chance. My inbox is always open for comments: sparkyinthesnow (at) gmail (dot) com. I'll let you know when the issue gets sorted out.
I might get into more detail on that tomorrow, but I just played 6 hours of D&D Arcainis, and my brain hurts.
Tomorrow I'll be getting up in time to do some readings, maybe go for coffee with Vanessa, then maybe going to Sarah and Larkins for more Firefly. Mmmm... Hot Guys in Westerns set in Space...
Not much else to say right now. Maybe I'm just overlooking things because I'm whipped. But for now, to bed. Tomorrow I'll post about 200 posts, and about other stuff.
BTW, it's looking like the comments portion of my blog isn't working right now. I'm not sure why, but I'll look into it when I get a chance. My inbox is always open for comments: sparkyinthesnow (at) gmail (dot) com. I'll let you know when the issue gets sorted out.
February 14, 2006
Give up and Go Away...
I don't think I've ever been this close to snapping.
I'm done, people. I'm done WITH people. I need a vacation from people, and all their bullshit. I need a break from my bullshit. I need to just go lie on a beach somewhere tropical, and just drink, and drink, and lie in the sun, until I forget that SoS exists. Until all traces of the idea of Feminism are bleached from my memory. Until money doesn't matter. Until people stop allowing their noisy babies and stupid children into University Libraries...
I just can't friggin take it any more. I ask a question, express a concern, state a fact, and I'm argued down into submission. I'm not saying I know all. I'm not even saying that I know what's best. But I know what I KNOW. And what I'm comfortable with. And when I question it, I expect to be met with some form of understanding, not just a shrug and "That's not my department."
I'm sick, and goddamn tired of money. I don't have it, and therefore I can do nothing. I can't even eat right now, because everything, even the essentials for survival, costs. I can't buy advil to kill this headache, because it costs. I'll soon be going off my meds and experiancing an impromptu withdrawl, because perscription drugs cost. And you think I'm a bitch now...
It's gotten to the point that my friends (ever honest) are telling me that they don't want to "deal" with me in my current state. I gave my best, and got nothing. I did my part, and others didn't. What the hell is wrong with people? No one cares about anyone else. I understand looking out for number one, but if you'd only let that self-centered, holier-than-god attitude go for one second, you'd see... You're not alone, and there are a hell of a lot of other people out there that need help.
And I don't appreciate being spoken to like a child. I know everyone's stressed. I get that. But, for some strange reason, I concider myself a part of that everyone. I'm allowed to be stressed too. And I certainly don't appreciate being told: "There, there... it will all get better soon."
I hate that my future has been pre-determined for me. I don't mind the control it brings, I just wish it was MY control. Right now, I feel as though I'm bound in lace, tighter than my skin; everything itches and squeezes too tight.
I'm sick of the Wierd Kid. I wish to god that I hadn't said yes to Caroline, because then I wouldn't feel as bad if I dropped. I hate that things are spinning out of control. I signed on for reading week, fine. But I did NOT sign on to do shows during my class time. I did NOT sign on to miss class for this. And I sure as hell did NOT sign up to for this. I feel like I'm under the influence of the Pied Piper, blindly following a leader who has no goddamn clue what he's doing.
As you can tell by now, I've given up on the niceties. Right now, I'm too pissed off to worry about who I hurt. I'm too angry to apologuise. This is how I feel, and this is what I'm thinking, and if you can't seal with that, I suggest you walk away now.
And the next person who says Happy Valentines to me is getting their heart ripped out, and shoved down their throat.
[Edit to add: KILL KILL KILL...]
I'm done, people. I'm done WITH people. I need a vacation from people, and all their bullshit. I need a break from my bullshit. I need to just go lie on a beach somewhere tropical, and just drink, and drink, and lie in the sun, until I forget that SoS exists. Until all traces of the idea of Feminism are bleached from my memory. Until money doesn't matter. Until people stop allowing their noisy babies and stupid children into University Libraries...
I just can't friggin take it any more. I ask a question, express a concern, state a fact, and I'm argued down into submission. I'm not saying I know all. I'm not even saying that I know what's best. But I know what I KNOW. And what I'm comfortable with. And when I question it, I expect to be met with some form of understanding, not just a shrug and "That's not my department."
I'm sick, and goddamn tired of money. I don't have it, and therefore I can do nothing. I can't even eat right now, because everything, even the essentials for survival, costs. I can't buy advil to kill this headache, because it costs. I'll soon be going off my meds and experiancing an impromptu withdrawl, because perscription drugs cost. And you think I'm a bitch now...
It's gotten to the point that my friends (ever honest) are telling me that they don't want to "deal" with me in my current state. I gave my best, and got nothing. I did my part, and others didn't. What the hell is wrong with people? No one cares about anyone else. I understand looking out for number one, but if you'd only let that self-centered, holier-than-god attitude go for one second, you'd see... You're not alone, and there are a hell of a lot of other people out there that need help.
And I don't appreciate being spoken to like a child. I know everyone's stressed. I get that. But, for some strange reason, I concider myself a part of that everyone. I'm allowed to be stressed too. And I certainly don't appreciate being told: "There, there... it will all get better soon."
I hate that my future has been pre-determined for me. I don't mind the control it brings, I just wish it was MY control. Right now, I feel as though I'm bound in lace, tighter than my skin; everything itches and squeezes too tight.
I'm sick of the Wierd Kid. I wish to god that I hadn't said yes to Caroline, because then I wouldn't feel as bad if I dropped. I hate that things are spinning out of control. I signed on for reading week, fine. But I did NOT sign on to do shows during my class time. I did NOT sign on to miss class for this. And I sure as hell did NOT sign up to for this. I feel like I'm under the influence of the Pied Piper, blindly following a leader who has no goddamn clue what he's doing.
As you can tell by now, I've given up on the niceties. Right now, I'm too pissed off to worry about who I hurt. I'm too angry to apologuise. This is how I feel, and this is what I'm thinking, and if you can't seal with that, I suggest you walk away now.
And the next person who says Happy Valentines to me is getting their heart ripped out, and shoved down their throat.
[Edit to add: KILL KILL KILL...]
February 7, 2006
Wanted: Small Doses.
Why can't things happen one at a time???
Why is it that when one thing blows up, it can't just be that one problem, it's gotta be six billion other things at the same damned time??
I mean, take tomorrow: Why can't I just have a midterm that day? why do I have to have another class after it? And why, oh why, do I have to work 7-2pm before it?
Snarf.
Meaghan and Craig are back together. Yay, I guess. I mean, I'm happy for them, but I have my concerns about what both of them want from the relationship, and what they are going to find. But that's just me.
Sarah and Steve are duking it out over dishes now. I seem to recall something from earlier in the year... Myself saying something about how the exec living together this year wasn't the best idea... But they're going to work on it like Mature Adults. They're going to get things sorted out. Whether they want to or not...
And then, tonight at rehersal (we ran the play about 2.25 times tonight...), Steve gives us the lowdown of the new show dates. Are ya'll ready for this one?
Monday, Feb 20th: 9.30am show
Tuesday, Feb. 21st: 9.30am show
Wednesday, Feb 22nd: 9.30am show
Thursday, Feb 23rd: 9.30am show, AND 12.30pm show.
Friday, Feb 24th: We're leaving for MATTAWA (about an hour and a half south) at 8.30am in a rented VAN, for a morning and afternoon show. We should be back in town by dinner.
Sweet. Monkey. Jeebus.
I figured there would be 3-4 shows. That made sense. But 7?? and 2 of them in a different location?? BLARG. So much for catching up over reading week...
And lastly, in this train-wrek of an update I have going on: Nathan needs to find a new place to live. His Aunt Patricia has been stationed in Edmonton, so they're moving. They'll know at the end of the month when they'll be going for sure, but either way, they're leaving, and Nathan's room in their house is leaving with them. So, assuming the military gives Patricia a few months to get her affairs in order, Nathan has to apartment hunt, scrounge up first and last, and possibly find a roomate! Not to mention packing up the stuff he does have at Uncle Mikes, and finding a home for it...
Finding the apartment is going to be the first big issue... Housing up here ain't cheap, especially when you have to pay first and last, and OSAP is taking money off every paycheque...
I've been scouring the online classifieds, but haven't found much yet. Luckily, we're entering the season where students start planning for accomidations for next year, so I'm hoping some apartments are going to be coming available. I feel bad, because I'm not sure I'm ready to move in with him, so I can't say "I'll go in with you on a 1 or two bedroom, roomie!" That, and I'm comfortable here now. I'm starting to get into the groove of things (I think...er...hope?), and I would rather move in with him once I have a steady job and some solid footing in the Bay, than while I'm still back and forth between here and home.
So, if anyone is in need of a roomate, or is ditching a fairly cheap apartment, please, let me know. He'll smoke outside, and if we can't get Shinobe or Aberdeen (the cat's we're planning to get) now, that's ok! He doesn't even have a computer, so no high-speed to worry about, and I'm sure he can live without cable! He's even housebroken! (Sorry, hun... I'm not making fun of you, I promise. *grin*)
Arg. I feel better now... the knot in my head is gone. So, back to studying I go.
Wheeeeeeeeeeee...
Why is it that when one thing blows up, it can't just be that one problem, it's gotta be six billion other things at the same damned time??
I mean, take tomorrow: Why can't I just have a midterm that day? why do I have to have another class after it? And why, oh why, do I have to work 7-2pm before it?
Snarf.
Meaghan and Craig are back together. Yay, I guess. I mean, I'm happy for them, but I have my concerns about what both of them want from the relationship, and what they are going to find. But that's just me.
Sarah and Steve are duking it out over dishes now. I seem to recall something from earlier in the year... Myself saying something about how the exec living together this year wasn't the best idea... But they're going to work on it like Mature Adults. They're going to get things sorted out. Whether they want to or not...
And then, tonight at rehersal (we ran the play about 2.25 times tonight...), Steve gives us the lowdown of the new show dates. Are ya'll ready for this one?
Monday, Feb 20th: 9.30am show
Tuesday, Feb. 21st: 9.30am show
Wednesday, Feb 22nd: 9.30am show
Thursday, Feb 23rd: 9.30am show, AND 12.30pm show.
Friday, Feb 24th: We're leaving for MATTAWA (about an hour and a half south) at 8.30am in a rented VAN, for a morning and afternoon show. We should be back in town by dinner.
Sweet. Monkey. Jeebus.
I figured there would be 3-4 shows. That made sense. But 7?? and 2 of them in a different location?? BLARG. So much for catching up over reading week...
And lastly, in this train-wrek of an update I have going on: Nathan needs to find a new place to live. His Aunt Patricia has been stationed in Edmonton, so they're moving. They'll know at the end of the month when they'll be going for sure, but either way, they're leaving, and Nathan's room in their house is leaving with them. So, assuming the military gives Patricia a few months to get her affairs in order, Nathan has to apartment hunt, scrounge up first and last, and possibly find a roomate! Not to mention packing up the stuff he does have at Uncle Mikes, and finding a home for it...
Finding the apartment is going to be the first big issue... Housing up here ain't cheap, especially when you have to pay first and last, and OSAP is taking money off every paycheque...
I've been scouring the online classifieds, but haven't found much yet. Luckily, we're entering the season where students start planning for accomidations for next year, so I'm hoping some apartments are going to be coming available. I feel bad, because I'm not sure I'm ready to move in with him, so I can't say "I'll go in with you on a 1 or two bedroom, roomie!" That, and I'm comfortable here now. I'm starting to get into the groove of things (I think...er...hope?), and I would rather move in with him once I have a steady job and some solid footing in the Bay, than while I'm still back and forth between here and home.
So, if anyone is in need of a roomate, or is ditching a fairly cheap apartment, please, let me know. He'll smoke outside, and if we can't get Shinobe or Aberdeen (the cat's we're planning to get) now, that's ok! He doesn't even have a computer, so no high-speed to worry about, and I'm sure he can live without cable! He's even housebroken! (Sorry, hun... I'm not making fun of you, I promise. *grin*)
Arg. I feel better now... the knot in my head is gone. So, back to studying I go.
Wheeeeeeeeeeee...
A Request.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Tonight, my good friend Tabetha found out that her hampster, Pickles, is very ill, and must be put down tomorrow. He was a cute, funny little teddy bear hampster, and I, as well as the rest of the gang (from D&D to Magic, etc) will miss him dearly.
So, I'd ask for a few good thoughts sent in the direction of Tabs, her boyfriend Geoff, and their roomate Danny. And also, for Pickles.
The river of life flows eternal. From the earth, to creation, life, love and eventually, we return back to earth. It's been so long since I've studied the Circle, and I wanted to give Pickles a blessing, but I don't feel qualified. So I will say this:
The good, truly good, will remain forever good, and will always be with us, helping us along the way. He's going to a place of joy and comfort, no matter what belief we follow.
Blessed Be, Captain Pickles Fuzzybutt Esquire.
Tonight, my good friend Tabetha found out that her hampster, Pickles, is very ill, and must be put down tomorrow. He was a cute, funny little teddy bear hampster, and I, as well as the rest of the gang (from D&D to Magic, etc) will miss him dearly.
So, I'd ask for a few good thoughts sent in the direction of Tabs, her boyfriend Geoff, and their roomate Danny. And also, for Pickles.
The river of life flows eternal. From the earth, to creation, life, love and eventually, we return back to earth. It's been so long since I've studied the Circle, and I wanted to give Pickles a blessing, but I don't feel qualified. So I will say this:
The good, truly good, will remain forever good, and will always be with us, helping us along the way. He's going to a place of joy and comfort, no matter what belief we follow.
Blessed Be, Captain Pickles Fuzzybutt Esquire.
February 6, 2006
Monday: the day of WORK
So here's the deal:
This weekend was awsome. It was totally the break I needed. However, that means that the room got cleaned, and that's about it. So, here I am, in the Nip computer lab, preparing for a day of "oh, my, GOD, am I really that far behind?!?!?!"
Of course, I'm not. I'm more caught up on my readings this year than I ever have been, and I'm proud of myself for that. I've still got "Anne of Green Gables" to read (thank GOD I'm done Gelngarry... it's not that it was bad, it was just... dry), and I'm still a few chapters behind. That, and there are essay proposals coming due, and my Journals for Kid Lit are looming. Not that they'll be difficult: I'll have one on the "His Dark Materials" trilogy, because I have some strong opinions on those, especially the last book (I think I actually posted about it a while back, too...), and one on Glengarry, if I have to. The I can probably do one on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone, and as a back-up, I can b.s. something about the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The movie was FANTASTIC, by the way.
I won't be home till later tonight. Meaghan and Craig broke up. I'll admit, I kinda saw it coming, though I was suprised that it was Craig that broke up with her... I didn't think Meaghan would take his bullshit for too much longer. I love them both, they're dear friends of mine, and I hope they work it out, but he's got a lot of growing up to do, and she needs to learn how to take a deep breath and relax. Everyone does...
Lastly, as I mentioned on my deviantArt page, I will be posting more semi-new pieces sometime soon, hopefully tonight. It will be stuff from prose and poetry last year, and some old beginnings-of-novels. Nothing major, nothing new (i.e. past November), but it's still getting stuff up there.
To the Library I go. Come, find me, DISTRACT ME!!! :)
This weekend was awsome. It was totally the break I needed. However, that means that the room got cleaned, and that's about it. So, here I am, in the Nip computer lab, preparing for a day of "oh, my, GOD, am I really that far behind?!?!?!"
Of course, I'm not. I'm more caught up on my readings this year than I ever have been, and I'm proud of myself for that. I've still got "Anne of Green Gables" to read (thank GOD I'm done Gelngarry... it's not that it was bad, it was just... dry), and I'm still a few chapters behind. That, and there are essay proposals coming due, and my Journals for Kid Lit are looming. Not that they'll be difficult: I'll have one on the "His Dark Materials" trilogy, because I have some strong opinions on those, especially the last book (I think I actually posted about it a while back, too...), and one on Glengarry, if I have to. The I can probably do one on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone, and as a back-up, I can b.s. something about the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The movie was FANTASTIC, by the way.
I won't be home till later tonight. Meaghan and Craig broke up. I'll admit, I kinda saw it coming, though I was suprised that it was Craig that broke up with her... I didn't think Meaghan would take his bullshit for too much longer. I love them both, they're dear friends of mine, and I hope they work it out, but he's got a lot of growing up to do, and she needs to learn how to take a deep breath and relax. Everyone does...
Lastly, as I mentioned on my deviantArt page, I will be posting more semi-new pieces sometime soon, hopefully tonight. It will be stuff from prose and poetry last year, and some old beginnings-of-novels. Nothing major, nothing new (i.e. past November), but it's still getting stuff up there.
To the Library I go. Come, find me, DISTRACT ME!!! :)
December 10, 2005
Holiday Party: Flop.
I held a kitchen party tonight. I invited a bunch of people, told them to spread the word and bring friends. I spent close to $200 on food, bowls and platters. I set everything out for 3.30pm, when I said that the party would start.
At 1.30pm, I had to take my boyfriend to the ER. He had lost his perepheral vision in his left eye, his left hand and forearm had gone compleatly numb, and the left side of his face had gone nunb too. He also felt dizzy. The Ontario Telehealth nurse was about to dispatch an ambulance, because it sounded like a T-I-something... basically a mini heart attack. An ambulance would have cost us $40, so I drove him. They released him 2 hours later, claiming that he had a migraine with an aura... he didn't even have a headache. Stupid fucking North Bay doctors...
Anyways, we got home, sat around until 4pm, when I took him to the bus terminal so he could go to his grandfather's funeral tomorrow. Then I came back. One of my friends had called, very sick, saying that she wouldn't be making it, and her boyfriend called shortly after saying that he was going to be with her. I know that 2 people weren't coming, because they were working, and that 2 people had already gone home for the holidays. Other than that, I was still expecting 9-10 people, plus whoever they brang along. So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
At 8.30pm, my roomate and his friend were sitting downstairs watching Trekkies with me, to keep me company. He told me that if people didn't start showing up soon, that he would start calling people just to make sure the food didn't go to waste.
At 9pm, 4 people showed up. They stayed until about an hour ago (1am). But that was it. 4 people. And I very much appreciate them for coming... I know that they were at rehersal until 8.30pm. But there are a few people who just didn't show.
Some days, I feel like my friends aren't my friends at all.
Then it came to me: after the car accident we had on our first attempt to get to his grandfather's family (hit curb, hole in oil pan and banged up transmission = $500...I don't really want to talk about it.), my mom said something to me. I was perturbed by it at the time, but now I think she's right:
I could have spent that time working on my 3 assignments for Monday (one overdue, one with an extention, one due monday), or studying for my exam on monday, but I CHOSE to spend my time putting together a relaxing evening for my friends. Now I've got a fridge full of left-overs I will be taking to Ryan and Ashley's potluck tomorrow, because I have to get rid of them before I leave for the holidays on Wednesday.
Right now, I just feel hollow inside.
Humbug.
At 1.30pm, I had to take my boyfriend to the ER. He had lost his perepheral vision in his left eye, his left hand and forearm had gone compleatly numb, and the left side of his face had gone nunb too. He also felt dizzy. The Ontario Telehealth nurse was about to dispatch an ambulance, because it sounded like a T-I-something... basically a mini heart attack. An ambulance would have cost us $40, so I drove him. They released him 2 hours later, claiming that he had a migraine with an aura... he didn't even have a headache. Stupid fucking North Bay doctors...
Anyways, we got home, sat around until 4pm, when I took him to the bus terminal so he could go to his grandfather's funeral tomorrow. Then I came back. One of my friends had called, very sick, saying that she wouldn't be making it, and her boyfriend called shortly after saying that he was going to be with her. I know that 2 people weren't coming, because they were working, and that 2 people had already gone home for the holidays. Other than that, I was still expecting 9-10 people, plus whoever they brang along. So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
At 8.30pm, my roomate and his friend were sitting downstairs watching Trekkies with me, to keep me company. He told me that if people didn't start showing up soon, that he would start calling people just to make sure the food didn't go to waste.
At 9pm, 4 people showed up. They stayed until about an hour ago (1am). But that was it. 4 people. And I very much appreciate them for coming... I know that they were at rehersal until 8.30pm. But there are a few people who just didn't show.
Some days, I feel like my friends aren't my friends at all.
Then it came to me: after the car accident we had on our first attempt to get to his grandfather's family (hit curb, hole in oil pan and banged up transmission = $500...I don't really want to talk about it.), my mom said something to me. I was perturbed by it at the time, but now I think she's right:
You always seem to be the one trying to help. You always seem to be the one doing things, and paying for them. We're not made of money.
I could have spent that time working on my 3 assignments for Monday (one overdue, one with an extention, one due monday), or studying for my exam on monday, but I CHOSE to spend my time putting together a relaxing evening for my friends. Now I've got a fridge full of left-overs I will be taking to Ryan and Ashley's potluck tomorrow, because I have to get rid of them before I leave for the holidays on Wednesday.
Right now, I just feel hollow inside.
Humbug.
September 19, 2005
The Humming Bird (overcafeinated edition)
Whoa.
So, I had a pretty awsome weekend. Lots of work, lots of running around, and lots of time spent with Nathan. I actually spent the majority of the weekend at his new house, which is beautiful (with the exception of the "Happy Room", which is a bit too technicolour for my liking).
Today, however, I realized (thanks to a little Sarah-bird) that I haven't been spending nearly enough time with my other friends. Not to mention that already my readings are piling up, and little things are again falling by the wayside. I'm going to have to start seriously budgeting my time. For real, this time. I mean, it's bad enough that I feel like I haven't been home in weeks, but I've missed out on Magic gatherings, I'm becoming a ghost to Vanessa, and Sarah nearly shot me when I told her I was going out of town next weekend (Nathan and I are going to Chisolm to meet his father). Plus work is insane, what with the money issues and lack of staffing, and I have my own projects, like this blog and my writing, that have taken a boot to the head. And I haven't talked to mom in over a week. That's just sad!
Therefore, today, I'm going to get at least 2 small projects and tomorrow's reading out of the way, and maybe jump on another project and some journal entries. Pieces at a time is the only way I'm going to get this done, even if it means a few pre-emptive all nighters.
Today's main tasks:
1. Article for Hibou
2. Answers to PSL heterosexuality page
3. readings for PSL
4. Journal entries: Romance
5. Readings: Romance (there are like, 10 that I haven't done yet...)
Tomorrow is Home-Work day, but it's being cut short: Nathan is taking me shopping at 6pm. I highly, HIGHLY doubt that it will run the whole night or anything, so I should be able to get the following done:
**I need to cancel my Dr.'s appt. I tried to do that just now, but low and behold, the Campus health centre doesn't have an answering machine! I I have to be at the school for about 9am to cancel and re-book my appointment. Boo-urns.
1. more laundry (I need to wash my sheets)
2. More Romance Readings
3. Kid Lit Readings/presentation
4. Journal Entries: Kid Lit
5. Readings for Drama
I want to look ahead and figure out what else needs to be done, but I'm afraid to. I may have an anurism. I know I have massive readings to do, and I know I have monumental projects to work on, and I'm almost certain that I'm forgetting something, but this will have to do. One person can only do so much.
Lastly, a big hug to Josh, who is acting as my TiVo, and downloading all my favorite shows so I don't miss anything. What a sweetie! And also to Mike, for not yet chasing me for rent money, and for the phrase: "This too shall pass".
Story of my Life...
So, I had a pretty awsome weekend. Lots of work, lots of running around, and lots of time spent with Nathan. I actually spent the majority of the weekend at his new house, which is beautiful (with the exception of the "Happy Room", which is a bit too technicolour for my liking).
Today, however, I realized (thanks to a little Sarah-bird) that I haven't been spending nearly enough time with my other friends. Not to mention that already my readings are piling up, and little things are again falling by the wayside. I'm going to have to start seriously budgeting my time. For real, this time. I mean, it's bad enough that I feel like I haven't been home in weeks, but I've missed out on Magic gatherings, I'm becoming a ghost to Vanessa, and Sarah nearly shot me when I told her I was going out of town next weekend (Nathan and I are going to Chisolm to meet his father). Plus work is insane, what with the money issues and lack of staffing, and I have my own projects, like this blog and my writing, that have taken a boot to the head. And I haven't talked to mom in over a week. That's just sad!
Therefore, today, I'm going to get at least 2 small projects and tomorrow's reading out of the way, and maybe jump on another project and some journal entries. Pieces at a time is the only way I'm going to get this done, even if it means a few pre-emptive all nighters.
Today's main tasks:
1. Article for Hibou
2. Answers to PSL heterosexuality page
3. readings for PSL
4. Journal entries: Romance
5. Readings: Romance (there are like, 10 that I haven't done yet...)
Tomorrow is Home-Work day, but it's being cut short: Nathan is taking me shopping at 6pm. I highly, HIGHLY doubt that it will run the whole night or anything, so I should be able to get the following done:
**I need to cancel my Dr.'s appt. I tried to do that just now, but low and behold, the Campus health centre doesn't have an answering machine! I I have to be at the school for about 9am to cancel and re-book my appointment. Boo-urns.
1. more laundry (I need to wash my sheets)
2. More Romance Readings
3. Kid Lit Readings/presentation
4. Journal Entries: Kid Lit
5. Readings for Drama
I want to look ahead and figure out what else needs to be done, but I'm afraid to. I may have an anurism. I know I have massive readings to do, and I know I have monumental projects to work on, and I'm almost certain that I'm forgetting something, but this will have to do. One person can only do so much.
Lastly, a big hug to Josh, who is acting as my TiVo, and downloading all my favorite shows so I don't miss anything. What a sweetie! And also to Mike, for not yet chasing me for rent money, and for the phrase: "This too shall pass".
Story of my Life...
September 12, 2005
Let's start the insanity...
...Giddy up!
I've only been to 3 classes so far, and already, my head is going to explode.
It's not like the courses are difficult or anything: most of them look to be intellectually stimulating, to say the very least. It's just a lot to wrap my head around, especially since those three classes had actual lectures involved. Usually on the first night, the prof hands out the syllabus (course outline), tells us what's involved in the class, then sends us off on our marry ways. When they start lecturing in the first week, I always feel like I'm being thrown into the frey. I prefer to ease in.
That, and ALREADY I've got a handful of assignments coming due soon, and a whack in November, but I want those out of the way Asap, because of Nanowrimo. We'll see.
Things seem to be going well otherwise. We had a Magic the Gathering gathering last night, which was awsome! I've discovered a love of kick-your-ass-on-the-quick creature decks, and I'm beginning to understand the logic of tokens. Geoff was explaining the game to Nathan, and I was able to catch a few things that I didn't understand before. Geoff's an awsome teacher, because he can break things down into easy to get pieces, and he's relaxed enough that he can get from point A to point X without getting flustered, like I do.
I'm glad that Nathan is weaving into my group this easily. I was worried that he might be a bit "too much" for people to handle: he can be very talkative, and makes jokes that sometimes seem off-colour, but so do the rest of us, which works well. He's culturing Danny a bit, which he needs, and he and Tabetha hit it off royally when he brought up his religious beliefs.
I'm still worried that things are moving too fast. Nathan keeps assuring me that he'll wait as long as I need him to, for anything, but... I guess I've just never been in a relationship like this. I want to wait more. Neither of us want it to be about sex, and that's working out well...
I don't want to tell him this: but I'm worried that maybe he is the one. I mean, after what Mom and Dad said, and my feelings all summer about watching others get married and such... As much as I want it, as much as I want someone beside me, I want to be alone too. I'm really getting a feel for myself, and I feel like I"m really coming into myself as a person. But I keep coming back to Dogma (yeah, the movie), and Alan Rickman ("The Metatron")'s line about Bethany stating that everything she was was a lie:
"You are Bethany Sloan, and even God himself can't take that away from you... Now, just be this too."
Can I be and become myself, and be his too? Maybe that's something I have to find out along the way... One of many lessons along the path.
God, now I'm getting all philosophical. I blame Nathan. His religious/philosophical views are rubbing off on me.
That's it for now, I guess. I have an "early" seminar in the morning, and should go to bed.
Zzzzzzz........
I've only been to 3 classes so far, and already, my head is going to explode.
It's not like the courses are difficult or anything: most of them look to be intellectually stimulating, to say the very least. It's just a lot to wrap my head around, especially since those three classes had actual lectures involved. Usually on the first night, the prof hands out the syllabus (course outline), tells us what's involved in the class, then sends us off on our marry ways. When they start lecturing in the first week, I always feel like I'm being thrown into the frey. I prefer to ease in.
That, and ALREADY I've got a handful of assignments coming due soon, and a whack in November, but I want those out of the way Asap, because of Nanowrimo. We'll see.
Things seem to be going well otherwise. We had a Magic the Gathering gathering last night, which was awsome! I've discovered a love of kick-your-ass-on-the-quick creature decks, and I'm beginning to understand the logic of tokens. Geoff was explaining the game to Nathan, and I was able to catch a few things that I didn't understand before. Geoff's an awsome teacher, because he can break things down into easy to get pieces, and he's relaxed enough that he can get from point A to point X without getting flustered, like I do.
I'm glad that Nathan is weaving into my group this easily. I was worried that he might be a bit "too much" for people to handle: he can be very talkative, and makes jokes that sometimes seem off-colour, but so do the rest of us, which works well. He's culturing Danny a bit, which he needs, and he and Tabetha hit it off royally when he brought up his religious beliefs.
I'm still worried that things are moving too fast. Nathan keeps assuring me that he'll wait as long as I need him to, for anything, but... I guess I've just never been in a relationship like this. I want to wait more. Neither of us want it to be about sex, and that's working out well...
I don't want to tell him this: but I'm worried that maybe he is the one. I mean, after what Mom and Dad said, and my feelings all summer about watching others get married and such... As much as I want it, as much as I want someone beside me, I want to be alone too. I'm really getting a feel for myself, and I feel like I"m really coming into myself as a person. But I keep coming back to Dogma (yeah, the movie), and Alan Rickman ("The Metatron")'s line about Bethany stating that everything she was was a lie:
"You are Bethany Sloan, and even God himself can't take that away from you... Now, just be this too."
Can I be and become myself, and be his too? Maybe that's something I have to find out along the way... One of many lessons along the path.
God, now I'm getting all philosophical. I blame Nathan. His religious/philosophical views are rubbing off on me.
That's it for now, I guess. I have an "early" seminar in the morning, and should go to bed.
Zzzzzzz........
September 9, 2005
Mushed up mini-posts...
I'll try and keep this short, as I have to be up in less than 7 hours...
First, I think I'm slipping as a roomate. I *really* don't want to be a bad roomate... I'd hate more than anything to have Mike or Josh mad at me: I respect Mike more than anyone else, and Josh is just a sweetheart! So that's something I'll have to work on.
Second, I'm working noon-close tomorrow, which makes for a pretty damned cool first week. Though, I have no clue when I'll get paid for this...
Third, saw Nathan again last night. No, he doens't have the address for this yet. We talked a bit, and he is more than ok with us taking things slow. He's promised me up and down that he's not insane or creepy, and that he won't just use me for sex and toss me aside. Though I've heard all of those things before, I think I'll trust him on this... for now. I'm nervous about how he'll get on with my friends, but that's something I'll just have to wait and see on.
Fourth, MAJOR congratulations to my sister, Ash, who, without knowing it, got a scholarship at Brock which covered her first bit of tuition! YAYS!!
Fifth, for those of you who haven't been reading the "comments", there's been a bit of dialogue going on between myself and "anonymous" aka "guy in the ____ row". He hasn't identified himself to me yet, which I find interesting. In any case, I wanted to say that I wish I could re-assure you that I'm really trying to get a better handle on my "wants" and "needs" and whatnot, and that... I don't know, right now, I"m pretty much ok. I think. I hate to think I'm hurting you by trying to go through life (as much as I tend to trip and fall), but please, don't worry. Everyone screws up, Everyone moves on, and Everybody hurts...sometimes. Really, this blog was meant for the times when the hurt was bigger, but now it's just a real journal. And I'll always take advice, wherever I can get it. :)
Ok, now I"m babbling, so I'm off to bed. If I've missed something, or whatev, I'll post about it Saturday. Check back then!
First, I think I'm slipping as a roomate. I *really* don't want to be a bad roomate... I'd hate more than anything to have Mike or Josh mad at me: I respect Mike more than anyone else, and Josh is just a sweetheart! So that's something I'll have to work on.
Second, I'm working noon-close tomorrow, which makes for a pretty damned cool first week. Though, I have no clue when I'll get paid for this...
Third, saw Nathan again last night. No, he doens't have the address for this yet. We talked a bit, and he is more than ok with us taking things slow. He's promised me up and down that he's not insane or creepy, and that he won't just use me for sex and toss me aside. Though I've heard all of those things before, I think I'll trust him on this... for now. I'm nervous about how he'll get on with my friends, but that's something I'll just have to wait and see on.
Fourth, MAJOR congratulations to my sister, Ash, who, without knowing it, got a scholarship at Brock which covered her first bit of tuition! YAYS!!
Fifth, for those of you who haven't been reading the "comments", there's been a bit of dialogue going on between myself and "anonymous" aka "guy in the ____ row". He hasn't identified himself to me yet, which I find interesting. In any case, I wanted to say that I wish I could re-assure you that I'm really trying to get a better handle on my "wants" and "needs" and whatnot, and that... I don't know, right now, I"m pretty much ok. I think. I hate to think I'm hurting you by trying to go through life (as much as I tend to trip and fall), but please, don't worry. Everyone screws up, Everyone moves on, and Everybody hurts...sometimes. Really, this blog was meant for the times when the hurt was bigger, but now it's just a real journal. And I'll always take advice, wherever I can get it. :)
Ok, now I"m babbling, so I'm off to bed. If I've missed something, or whatev, I'll post about it Saturday. Check back then!
September 5, 2005
Oddly Sentimental
I'm in what my mother would call a "softie" mood... happy to curl up with a book on a warm blanket with Snowy (my 21 year old teddy) and...Well, Willow was acting as an extra pillow, but she's sauntered off to beat on Bizzy.
I finally talked to Mom today. She and Dad have been on holidays for the last 2 weeks, and Ash moved into Brock today. Everyone's worried about her, but I think she'll be fine. She's one of those people who just fits in everywhere, so I'm sure, after a week of the flustered chaos that is Frosh, she'll find her niche.
I forgot to mention that I spent the weekend shopping. Oddly enough, I didn't buy much... I was with Vanessa. Some days I hate going into stores like Smart Set and Suzy Shier, especially when the fall line has just come out and everything is so rich and lux... and expensive. It was nice to have a girls day at the mall though... I've never done that before, except with Mom. Vanessa is great; she's always got something to say. It's funny to think that before a few weeks ago, we barely spoke, and all but hated eachother.
I did do a little impulse buying though... At Allisons. I got a book for class, so it was "worth while" in that sense, but I also got White Oleander (finally), and some other books that I'll Never find time to read. Though, I've made more progress on Little Women, and I'm nearly half way through.
In only a few more days, like will be returning to "normal", aka the calm before all hell breaks loose. Sarah's back in town (yay!), I understand that Geoff and Tabs are somewhere in the city, and Caroline's having a potluck tomorrow night. I'm planning to make a massive pot of spaghetti, and maybe brownies if I have the time. Oh, and if anyone knows where I can get a cheap casserole dish or lasagna dish, please let me know! I should stop at Rebuilt Resources too, and see if I can find a bookshelf.
I think I'll go to bed now. I should get up early and call the Lucky, aparently I got my job back, they just haven't caught up with me yet. After a few hours of watching live broadcast news out of Louisiana, I'd like to remind you readers of my previous post.
That's all for tonight. Cheers!
I finally talked to Mom today. She and Dad have been on holidays for the last 2 weeks, and Ash moved into Brock today. Everyone's worried about her, but I think she'll be fine. She's one of those people who just fits in everywhere, so I'm sure, after a week of the flustered chaos that is Frosh, she'll find her niche.
I forgot to mention that I spent the weekend shopping. Oddly enough, I didn't buy much... I was with Vanessa. Some days I hate going into stores like Smart Set and Suzy Shier, especially when the fall line has just come out and everything is so rich and lux... and expensive. It was nice to have a girls day at the mall though... I've never done that before, except with Mom. Vanessa is great; she's always got something to say. It's funny to think that before a few weeks ago, we barely spoke, and all but hated eachother.
I did do a little impulse buying though... At Allisons. I got a book for class, so it was "worth while" in that sense, but I also got White Oleander (finally), and some other books that I'll Never find time to read. Though, I've made more progress on Little Women, and I'm nearly half way through.
In only a few more days, like will be returning to "normal", aka the calm before all hell breaks loose. Sarah's back in town (yay!), I understand that Geoff and Tabs are somewhere in the city, and Caroline's having a potluck tomorrow night. I'm planning to make a massive pot of spaghetti, and maybe brownies if I have the time. Oh, and if anyone knows where I can get a cheap casserole dish or lasagna dish, please let me know! I should stop at Rebuilt Resources too, and see if I can find a bookshelf.
I think I'll go to bed now. I should get up early and call the Lucky, aparently I got my job back, they just haven't caught up with me yet. After a few hours of watching live broadcast news out of Louisiana, I'd like to remind you readers of my previous post.
That's all for tonight. Cheers!
August 28, 2005
"Sex Goddess..."
Yeah, so I had a good night. Nothing like being called a "Sex Goddess" and a "Porn Queen" within the same 5 minutes to make a girl feel special. 'Sept maybe the groaning. The passion. The gripping. The swearing. The cuddling. Bad wine. Kill Bill...
Ok, so I have strange taste. If you didn't know that already, you haven't been reading this site long enough. Go back to the beginning and start again.
Lucy Lu is hot.
STOP IT!
Yeah. Ok, last night was definatly great, for a lot of reasons aside from the ten minute span this afternoon where I had no sensation in my hands...
I was at Tony's overnight (obviously... he's the only man I I ever slept with that I respect enough to continue sleeping with anymore) and we played video games, which was teh awsome. I can't remember the name of the game we were playing, except that it was basically D&D in video form with aswome graphics. I can't decide if I should be more of a gamer chick or not. I mean, I'm sure my friends would appreciate it: Anytime they get into a conversation about the latest in basement-dwelling-geek technology, my eyes glaze over and I space out for about 20 minutes. But, then again, I don't know if that's the kinda person I want to attract. I guess I'd rather be a classic gamer, which I sort of am. Except I've never beaten Mario 1, 2, or 3. But I am a Tetris queen. Level 12, baby!
Moving on...
After the video game became a strip video game, which lead to round 1, Tony commented that I seemed less inhibited. Free-er, almost. He knew something was very different, and he liked it. That was when I told him why. I actually, for the first time, sat down with someone and explained everything about me, without dulling it down, sugar coating it or making it seem like less than it is. It felt really, really good. Especially since I didn't feel ashamed afterwords. I had been pick-free for over a week before Friday night (which was a bad night on a few counts), and I really think that things are coming together. And the fact that he didn't shy away or hold back after was really comforting. We actually spent the rest of the night on the fold-out watching episodes of Coupling (the BBC version, which is friggin hilarious!), and then he fell asleep as I watched Kill Bill (which is just plain rockin). (See also, Lucy Lu is hot.)
When we finally woke up today, I helped him unpack (he just got back from seeing his folks in Nova Scotia), helped him clean up a bit (he definatly needs help in that area), and we talked. Real breakfast conversation. I don't think we've ever done that before. I don't think that conversation is a lost *art* persey, more of a lost luxury. Or even a courtasy. I think we do too much of it over MSN and over web forums (such as Xforums) and not enough in person. Not that I'm knocking intelligent forum debate or l33t banter, lol, but I think there's a lot to be said for sitting with a man over a bowl of cereal and discussing the Philosophies of Love and Sex (the course, and the social and cultural contexts of what his son will be going through in the next 5-10 years).
So, now, here I am at home, after a deliscious round 2, a long chat with my Meaghan about her dad's boyfriend and multi-partner lifestyles, and a few slices of pizza. I don't know why, but good sex makes me hungry. That may be something to work on. I can see the weight creeping back on, and I don't like it. In fact, the goal was to lost 5 more, not to carelessly put them back on. And, with the exception of this morning, I've found that I'm really not drinking enough water. At all. I mean, the reccomended is 6-8 8oz glasses a day. I highly doubt I"m getting that. Actually, come to think of it, I have no idea how much I'm getting. But, to counter the caffeine, the occasional casual toxin I put into my system, the pills, the ring, and the sweat that all seem to be part of my daily life (or, in the instance of coffee, soon will be), I don't think I'm getting near-to enough to counter all that. PLUS, I'm trying to increase my flexability by stretching, as I've said, and I'm not sure I"m hydrating my muscles enough to be able to do anything other than limber them. And, really, the body is, what, 80%+ water, right? I figure, in the process of re-hydrating myself and still trying to become more active in my day to day life, flush out excess fat and still have energy to process though... I should really be drinking more than water, shouldn't I? But gaterade's expensive...
Wow, I really hope my parent's don't actually read this...
Now I'm off to read. I need to read more. Like, seriously. My classes start back in just over a week, and I've only read three of the, what, 15 books that in need to read for ONE class? Waiting till the paper's due is going to be suicide, especially if I get a job, plus start helping Carley, plus trying to keep up with the house work, SOS, D&D, Magic, and a social life...
*spoink*
Yeah. Read Now=good. Talk later.
Ok, so I have strange taste. If you didn't know that already, you haven't been reading this site long enough. Go back to the beginning and start again.
Lucy Lu is hot.
STOP IT!
Yeah. Ok, last night was definatly great, for a lot of reasons aside from the ten minute span this afternoon where I had no sensation in my hands...
I was at Tony's overnight (obviously... he's the only man I I ever slept with that I respect enough to continue sleeping with anymore) and we played video games, which was teh awsome. I can't remember the name of the game we were playing, except that it was basically D&D in video form with aswome graphics. I can't decide if I should be more of a gamer chick or not. I mean, I'm sure my friends would appreciate it: Anytime they get into a conversation about the latest in basement-dwelling-geek technology, my eyes glaze over and I space out for about 20 minutes. But, then again, I don't know if that's the kinda person I want to attract. I guess I'd rather be a classic gamer, which I sort of am. Except I've never beaten Mario 1, 2, or 3. But I am a Tetris queen. Level 12, baby!
Moving on...
After the video game became a strip video game, which lead to round 1, Tony commented that I seemed less inhibited. Free-er, almost. He knew something was very different, and he liked it. That was when I told him why. I actually, for the first time, sat down with someone and explained everything about me, without dulling it down, sugar coating it or making it seem like less than it is. It felt really, really good. Especially since I didn't feel ashamed afterwords. I had been pick-free for over a week before Friday night (which was a bad night on a few counts), and I really think that things are coming together. And the fact that he didn't shy away or hold back after was really comforting. We actually spent the rest of the night on the fold-out watching episodes of Coupling (the BBC version, which is friggin hilarious!), and then he fell asleep as I watched Kill Bill (which is just plain rockin). (See also, Lucy Lu is hot.)
When we finally woke up today, I helped him unpack (he just got back from seeing his folks in Nova Scotia), helped him clean up a bit (he definatly needs help in that area), and we talked. Real breakfast conversation. I don't think we've ever done that before. I don't think that conversation is a lost *art* persey, more of a lost luxury. Or even a courtasy. I think we do too much of it over MSN and over web forums (such as Xforums) and not enough in person. Not that I'm knocking intelligent forum debate or l33t banter, lol, but I think there's a lot to be said for sitting with a man over a bowl of cereal and discussing the Philosophies of Love and Sex (the course, and the social and cultural contexts of what his son will be going through in the next 5-10 years).
So, now, here I am at home, after a deliscious round 2, a long chat with my Meaghan about her dad's boyfriend and multi-partner lifestyles, and a few slices of pizza. I don't know why, but good sex makes me hungry. That may be something to work on. I can see the weight creeping back on, and I don't like it. In fact, the goal was to lost 5 more, not to carelessly put them back on. And, with the exception of this morning, I've found that I'm really not drinking enough water. At all. I mean, the reccomended is 6-8 8oz glasses a day. I highly doubt I"m getting that. Actually, come to think of it, I have no idea how much I'm getting. But, to counter the caffeine, the occasional casual toxin I put into my system, the pills, the ring, and the sweat that all seem to be part of my daily life (or, in the instance of coffee, soon will be), I don't think I'm getting near-to enough to counter all that. PLUS, I'm trying to increase my flexability by stretching, as I've said, and I'm not sure I"m hydrating my muscles enough to be able to do anything other than limber them. And, really, the body is, what, 80%+ water, right? I figure, in the process of re-hydrating myself and still trying to become more active in my day to day life, flush out excess fat and still have energy to process though... I should really be drinking more than water, shouldn't I? But gaterade's expensive...
Wow, I really hope my parent's don't actually read this...
Now I'm off to read. I need to read more. Like, seriously. My classes start back in just over a week, and I've only read three of the, what, 15 books that in need to read for ONE class? Waiting till the paper's due is going to be suicide, especially if I get a job, plus start helping Carley, plus trying to keep up with the house work, SOS, D&D, Magic, and a social life...
*spoink*
Yeah. Read Now=good. Talk later.
August 26, 2005
Hit the ground running
So I've been putting some thought into how I'm going to go about organizing myself this year (here we go...). Why did this come about? Well, I got talking to my friend Ange this morning, and she told me that she's going to be on a double-overload this year. For you non-U kids out there, and means this: I'm on a full course load, so I'm in 5 classes per term. She's in 2 over and above that. And probably, 2 full year cources. Yikes.
So I thought, if she can pull THAT off, I should be able to pull off 30credits (which is a regular full course load in credit-speak) no problem. If she can't... well, let's not think about that.
So, I took some time today, did a bit more reading (another few chapters didn't put a huge dent in the book, but it's something), and got thinking about the out-of-class stuf I need to get accomplished. And where else would I put a to-do list but here?
1. NipWork: filled out the forms, but I need some info from mom and dad, who are currently on vacation. Hopefully, Ash can find it at the house, and I can get my application in by Monday.
2. Proof of Registration: I need to prove to the bank that my student line of credit is STILL a student line of credit.
3. Canadore: I need to stop in and talk to them about applying to the Addictions/Mental Health worker program next year, just incase I don't get into Teacher's college. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think that might be a better program for me, but we'll wait and see.
4. Carley: I need to get in touch with Rod and see if he actually does want my help this year. He's teaching at Canadore (Theatre Arts) AND at Nip (Engligh/Theatre Arts), so if I can get in, I want to know a) if I need to go through Canadore's paperwork mess, and b) what exactly it is I will be doing.
5. Schedual: I need to drop one off to the Lucky 13 so I can see about getting my job back there.
6. Stokes: I need to get in touch with him and see if he still wants a student teacher, but I want to see what Carley says first, because I get the feeling that I will get more class-time working with him.
7. Book list: I know I need one course pack from Print Plus, I just don't know what else I need... And what else I can get for cheap from Allison's.
And now I'm going out to dinner with Vanessa. And then I'm coming back and hanging out with Mike and co.
So I thought, if she can pull THAT off, I should be able to pull off 30credits (which is a regular full course load in credit-speak) no problem. If she can't... well, let's not think about that.
So, I took some time today, did a bit more reading (another few chapters didn't put a huge dent in the book, but it's something), and got thinking about the out-of-class stuf I need to get accomplished. And where else would I put a to-do list but here?
1. NipWork: filled out the forms, but I need some info from mom and dad, who are currently on vacation. Hopefully, Ash can find it at the house, and I can get my application in by Monday.
2. Proof of Registration: I need to prove to the bank that my student line of credit is STILL a student line of credit.
3. Canadore: I need to stop in and talk to them about applying to the Addictions/Mental Health worker program next year, just incase I don't get into Teacher's college. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think that might be a better program for me, but we'll wait and see.
4. Carley: I need to get in touch with Rod and see if he actually does want my help this year. He's teaching at Canadore (Theatre Arts) AND at Nip (Engligh/Theatre Arts), so if I can get in, I want to know a) if I need to go through Canadore's paperwork mess, and b) what exactly it is I will be doing.
5. Schedual: I need to drop one off to the Lucky 13 so I can see about getting my job back there.
6. Stokes: I need to get in touch with him and see if he still wants a student teacher, but I want to see what Carley says first, because I get the feeling that I will get more class-time working with him.
7. Book list: I know I need one course pack from Print Plus, I just don't know what else I need... And what else I can get for cheap from Allison's.
And now I'm going out to dinner with Vanessa. And then I'm coming back and hanging out with Mike and co.
August 25, 2005
Updated Schedual
For those of you who must know where I am at all hours (and aparently there are a few of you...) I've got my new schedual available for viewing. Note the changes. Note them....
Monday
Term I
Monday
-12.30-2pm: Genre I: Romance
-6.30-9.30pm: Psych of Educaiton
Tuesday
-10.30-11.30am: Kid Lit Lab
-12.30-3.30pm: Philosophy of Sex and Love
Wednesday
-12.30-2pm: Genre I: Romance
-6.30-9.30pm: Studies in Drama
Thursday
-6.30-8.30pm: Kid Lit
Fridays
-Still Off!!
Term II
Monday
-3.30-5pm: (Psych of) Learning
-6.30-9.30: Psych of Education
Tuesday
-10.30-11.30am: Kid Lit Lab
-12.30-3.30pm: Philosophy of Sex and Love
Wednesday
-3.30-5pm: (Psych of) Learning
-6.30-9.30pm: Studies in Drama
Thursday
-6.30-8.30pm: Kid Lit
Fridays
-Still Off!!
So, looks good so far. I'm waiting to hear back from Prof. Plumstead to see whether I can stay in Romance or not, since I didn't take the prerequisite.
But, some may be asking, why the change to Philosophy of Love and Sex? What happened to Adult and Child? Well, that, friends, is an adventure in Academic Advising I hope never happens again...
I went to see the Advisor today. I don't like the one I always end up stuck with, because she has this habit of making me feel like a complete moron, and I don't like feeling that way when it's not deserved. In any case, I sit down with her, and after some fiddling around, she finally does an audit of my cources to see where I'm at. After a few minutes and puzzled glances, she finally looks up and says: "Well, it's a good thing you came in here... You're Short!"
I stare at her like she has 3 heads and a purple horn. Short? But last year, the other advisor, Derrek, told me that I was fine! No, she says... This course, this course and this course don't count, but these ones, which aren't supposed to, will, because you're in Liberal Arts, and therefore you're 6 credits short to graduate.
Fuck.
So what do I do? Now I look like a deer in the headlights, and she's re-counting. "Well, I know it will bring your average down, but why not give up re-taking this Psych?" Well, yeah, I stammer, I guess I could... But I need a higher average this year, and I don't really have anything else I can take...
"Well, you can pick up one more full year first year course, or check out a few of the new options...Or something like (she wrinkles her nose) Philosophy of Love, or something..."
Bingo!
So that's how it happened. Besides, it's frigging SEX and LOVE. The two things I bitch about most, and their impact on modern culture. Hello, BIRD COURSE!! Woot.
Other than that, not much of intrest has been going on. Vanessa and I have been talking a lot more recently, which is good. We used to hate eachother, because she's Todd's Ex (like, nearly got married ex...), and he was sleeping with me at the same time he was sleeping with her, but it appears that our mutual "hatred" of that rancid sack of pond scum (which I say with the utmost love and respect...) has helped us develop an interesting bond. That, and we actually have quite a bit in common. So, that's cool. I love making new friends!
So, I don't really know what to do with myself now. That hour of waiting for an advisor, the 15 minute flurry of "Holy crap, I'm not gonna graduate!" and the following mad rush of drop/register/email everyone the new schedual kinda took its tole on me. Plus, I think both Mike and Josh are sick, which is making me leery of expending too much energy. I don't want whatever they've got. So I might just curl up and read. That's probably something I should do a LOT more of before the year starts up. I'm almost done Amber Spyglass (which means a little less than half-way through), and I've got about 4 billion other books to read... Maybe I should get cracking. And now that I don't have to review all my development notes, I'll have time for that.
Or I could take a nap. Whatev.
Monday
Term I
Monday
-12.30-2pm: Genre I: Romance
-6.30-9.30pm: Psych of Educaiton
Tuesday
-10.30-11.30am: Kid Lit Lab
-12.30-3.30pm: Philosophy of Sex and Love
Wednesday
-12.30-2pm: Genre I: Romance
-6.30-9.30pm: Studies in Drama
Thursday
-6.30-8.30pm: Kid Lit
Fridays
-Still Off!!
Term II
Monday
-3.30-5pm: (Psych of) Learning
-6.30-9.30: Psych of Education
Tuesday
-10.30-11.30am: Kid Lit Lab
-12.30-3.30pm: Philosophy of Sex and Love
Wednesday
-3.30-5pm: (Psych of) Learning
-6.30-9.30pm: Studies in Drama
Thursday
-6.30-8.30pm: Kid Lit
Fridays
-Still Off!!
So, looks good so far. I'm waiting to hear back from Prof. Plumstead to see whether I can stay in Romance or not, since I didn't take the prerequisite.
But, some may be asking, why the change to Philosophy of Love and Sex? What happened to Adult and Child? Well, that, friends, is an adventure in Academic Advising I hope never happens again...
I went to see the Advisor today. I don't like the one I always end up stuck with, because she has this habit of making me feel like a complete moron, and I don't like feeling that way when it's not deserved. In any case, I sit down with her, and after some fiddling around, she finally does an audit of my cources to see where I'm at. After a few minutes and puzzled glances, she finally looks up and says: "Well, it's a good thing you came in here... You're Short!"
I stare at her like she has 3 heads and a purple horn. Short? But last year, the other advisor, Derrek, told me that I was fine! No, she says... This course, this course and this course don't count, but these ones, which aren't supposed to, will, because you're in Liberal Arts, and therefore you're 6 credits short to graduate.
Fuck.
So what do I do? Now I look like a deer in the headlights, and she's re-counting. "Well, I know it will bring your average down, but why not give up re-taking this Psych?" Well, yeah, I stammer, I guess I could... But I need a higher average this year, and I don't really have anything else I can take...
"Well, you can pick up one more full year first year course, or check out a few of the new options...Or something like (she wrinkles her nose) Philosophy of Love, or something..."
Bingo!
So that's how it happened. Besides, it's frigging SEX and LOVE. The two things I bitch about most, and their impact on modern culture. Hello, BIRD COURSE!! Woot.
Other than that, not much of intrest has been going on. Vanessa and I have been talking a lot more recently, which is good. We used to hate eachother, because she's Todd's Ex (like, nearly got married ex...), and he was sleeping with me at the same time he was sleeping with her, but it appears that our mutual "hatred" of that rancid sack of pond scum (which I say with the utmost love and respect...) has helped us develop an interesting bond. That, and we actually have quite a bit in common. So, that's cool. I love making new friends!
So, I don't really know what to do with myself now. That hour of waiting for an advisor, the 15 minute flurry of "Holy crap, I'm not gonna graduate!" and the following mad rush of drop/register/email everyone the new schedual kinda took its tole on me. Plus, I think both Mike and Josh are sick, which is making me leery of expending too much energy. I don't want whatever they've got. So I might just curl up and read. That's probably something I should do a LOT more of before the year starts up. I'm almost done Amber Spyglass (which means a little less than half-way through), and I've got about 4 billion other books to read... Maybe I should get cracking. And now that I don't have to review all my development notes, I'll have time for that.
Or I could take a nap. Whatev.
August 24, 2005
Did Stuff...
Yeah. I did stuff today. Woo.
I dropped of some resumes, and bought some pretty pillows and hangers, and tix for the Trews Unplugged... and then I kinda hung out here and downloaded stuff... Thought about going for a walk, but didn't...
Blah.
Not that I'm really complaining, but I just feel... Lazy. Like I really should be accomplishing things now, before all hell breaks loose, but Something inside keeps telling me no. Of course, we've all heard this before. I really did want to change that this year.
I guess I'm making small changes. I've actually lost a lot more weight than I thought, so I want to keep it off. I'm stretching every morning when I get up, and again before I go to bed, which is helping my posture, and I'm sleeping better too. Plus, I'm trying to learn to listen to my body more: asking myself, am I hungry, or just bored? Or am I thirsty? And if I am hungry, what is it that my body is telling me I need? Bread? Something Sweet? It makes a big difference.
Also, I got a rather bizarre email from Justin, one of the cooks at Richardsons, basically stating that he just found out that I didn't know that he has a girlfriend (which was a bit of a shock...), and that he was sorry that I developed feelings for him, and that I thought there was a chance for us, and that if I'd been more forward sooner, we could have avoided this...
I'm not sure I actually developed feelings for him, other than "wow, I'd like to boink you a few times". We were flirting pretty hard core, but he does that with everyone, so I wasn't sure I should have been taking it seriously anyways. So I almost felt strange that I wasn't hurt. Maybe it's just a bit of my past, tugging at my sleeve and saying: "Hey, what about me?" And I see it, and what could have happened... I don't know, it's strange.
Good, but strange. Hell, seeing Todd with Trista and not wanting to break some spines is good but strange. Maybe I'm heading to a calmer place. OR maybe I'm just in some kind of deep, cognitive shock and all of the negative energies stemming from my relationships is just funneling into a destructive ball of pent up rage and agression which will continue to build in size and intensity until I DO actually go on a homicidal spree and rip the balls off of every man in a five mile radious...
But at least my hair will look good in the process.
My hair is AWSOME! And it's so soft!! and all it took was 5 minutes with the blowdryer (2nd day hair). And the colour is holding quite well! *gush!*
So, yeah. Got some stuff accomplished today, but it doesn't feel like much. Tomorrow night, I'm supposed to be going out with Ange, but I haven't heard from her yet to know what's going on. So I think I might try and get some more reading done. Or baking. Tomorrow might be a good day for a trip to the bulk store.
Mmm...Cookies...
I dropped of some resumes, and bought some pretty pillows and hangers, and tix for the Trews Unplugged... and then I kinda hung out here and downloaded stuff... Thought about going for a walk, but didn't...
Blah.
Not that I'm really complaining, but I just feel... Lazy. Like I really should be accomplishing things now, before all hell breaks loose, but Something inside keeps telling me no. Of course, we've all heard this before. I really did want to change that this year.
I guess I'm making small changes. I've actually lost a lot more weight than I thought, so I want to keep it off. I'm stretching every morning when I get up, and again before I go to bed, which is helping my posture, and I'm sleeping better too. Plus, I'm trying to learn to listen to my body more: asking myself, am I hungry, or just bored? Or am I thirsty? And if I am hungry, what is it that my body is telling me I need? Bread? Something Sweet? It makes a big difference.
Also, I got a rather bizarre email from Justin, one of the cooks at Richardsons, basically stating that he just found out that I didn't know that he has a girlfriend (which was a bit of a shock...), and that he was sorry that I developed feelings for him, and that I thought there was a chance for us, and that if I'd been more forward sooner, we could have avoided this...
I'm not sure I actually developed feelings for him, other than "wow, I'd like to boink you a few times". We were flirting pretty hard core, but he does that with everyone, so I wasn't sure I should have been taking it seriously anyways. So I almost felt strange that I wasn't hurt. Maybe it's just a bit of my past, tugging at my sleeve and saying: "Hey, what about me?" And I see it, and what could have happened... I don't know, it's strange.
Good, but strange. Hell, seeing Todd with Trista and not wanting to break some spines is good but strange. Maybe I'm heading to a calmer place. OR maybe I'm just in some kind of deep, cognitive shock and all of the negative energies stemming from my relationships is just funneling into a destructive ball of pent up rage and agression which will continue to build in size and intensity until I DO actually go on a homicidal spree and rip the balls off of every man in a five mile radious...
But at least my hair will look good in the process.
My hair is AWSOME! And it's so soft!! and all it took was 5 minutes with the blowdryer (2nd day hair). And the colour is holding quite well! *gush!*
So, yeah. Got some stuff accomplished today, but it doesn't feel like much. Tomorrow night, I'm supposed to be going out with Ange, but I haven't heard from her yet to know what's going on. So I think I might try and get some more reading done. Or baking. Tomorrow might be a good day for a trip to the bulk store.
Mmm...Cookies...
August 21, 2005
August 7, 2005
Pretties
First off, thanks to Jim, who emailed me about my last post. I'm ok, I was just venting and ranting at the same time, which can get rather violent. :)
So, tonight I attended Gayle's Fantasia Party, which wound up being a party of two... I was the only one who showed. It was still fun, though! I bought "Tickle Her(tm) Pink!" and "Tickle Her(tm) Nipple!", as well as a very hot light blue... langer-eh. Yeah, I can't spell, but y'all know what it is. There's a top piece made of lace with little bows at the bottom and lace thong panties. It makes me feel like a fairy queen! lol!
After some chit-chat and cheesecake, Gayle also loaned me some shoes she bought in Italy. I'm in Love. See that? CAPITOL L-LOVE!! These things are beautiful! black pattent lether, a mesh cover, open toe, 6" heel and 2"sole on the toe... *drools* And I can walk in them, too! I'm working on dancing, but I'm still a bit wobbly. I have a week to learn to move in them before I move back up north and start saving for my own pair. It's hard work, though. My calfs and thighs were aching after a bit of strutting around.
Today was VERY productive for me, though. I cleaned like a mad-woman, vacuumed, did laundry, packed up some books and things...Of course, my bed is covered in misplaced objects, and my sheets are still on the line (I'll get them in the morning), so I'll be camping out on the floor tonight, but hey, small price to pay for a clean room.
I started a Wish List at Chapters.Indigo.ca, but because my internet is so slow, I'm going to resist adding to it until I get up there... I have a load of books that I'd like to have, including Grimm's Grimmest, which I've wanted for years.
I should probably head for bed though. I start on my last full week of days next week, and I want to try and get up early tomorrow so Monday isn't hell. At least tomorrow, if I get up at 7am, and stay up until at least 6pm, I know I'll sleep Sunday night. I hope...
I'm sure I'll get chance to update tomorrow. I have some more laundry to get done, and some more cleaning to do, obviously, plus I need to water my herbs, as they're all dying of dehydration, but I want to get onto the Fredericks of Hollywood website and start having catelogues delivered to Mike's. Before I get up there. Just so he knows what he's in for.
:)
So, tonight I attended Gayle's Fantasia Party, which wound up being a party of two... I was the only one who showed. It was still fun, though! I bought "Tickle Her(tm) Pink!" and "Tickle Her(tm) Nipple!", as well as a very hot light blue... langer-eh. Yeah, I can't spell, but y'all know what it is. There's a top piece made of lace with little bows at the bottom and lace thong panties. It makes me feel like a fairy queen! lol!
After some chit-chat and cheesecake, Gayle also loaned me some shoes she bought in Italy. I'm in Love. See that? CAPITOL L-LOVE!! These things are beautiful! black pattent lether, a mesh cover, open toe, 6" heel and 2"sole on the toe... *drools* And I can walk in them, too! I'm working on dancing, but I'm still a bit wobbly. I have a week to learn to move in them before I move back up north and start saving for my own pair. It's hard work, though. My calfs and thighs were aching after a bit of strutting around.
Today was VERY productive for me, though. I cleaned like a mad-woman, vacuumed, did laundry, packed up some books and things...Of course, my bed is covered in misplaced objects, and my sheets are still on the line (I'll get them in the morning), so I'll be camping out on the floor tonight, but hey, small price to pay for a clean room.
I started a Wish List at Chapters.Indigo.ca, but because my internet is so slow, I'm going to resist adding to it until I get up there... I have a load of books that I'd like to have, including Grimm's Grimmest, which I've wanted for years.
I should probably head for bed though. I start on my last full week of days next week, and I want to try and get up early tomorrow so Monday isn't hell. At least tomorrow, if I get up at 7am, and stay up until at least 6pm, I know I'll sleep Sunday night. I hope...
I'm sure I'll get chance to update tomorrow. I have some more laundry to get done, and some more cleaning to do, obviously, plus I need to water my herbs, as they're all dying of dehydration, but I want to get onto the Fredericks of Hollywood website and start having catelogues delivered to Mike's. Before I get up there. Just so he knows what he's in for.
:)
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