March 29, 2006


It's amazing; the things I've been finding the last few days... From fanfics I wrote when I was 14, to tests and assignments from first year. I'm not quite sure why I have them, but I can't bring myself to throw them out.

Sarah asked me to dig up an old assignment from Prose Fiction. Of course, I find everything but that, and I have to ask myself, why do I keep lugging all of this paper with me from place to place? What purpose could it serve? I mean, I could just keep a record of my grades and toss the tests... but why keep the grades? I don't really need them once the course is complete. So... Maybe I should just copy out the test questions with the correct answers (or as close as I can get), and keep the papers...

Maybe I keep them to remind myself that "I did something". I created something that, though it has no meaning now, may have had some meaning then. Maybe to give myself something bigger than just a piece of paper with "Graduate" written on it to commemorate these past 4 years. Maybe I just can't let go.

Some of the stuff is good. Even the fanfic wasn't half bad, for what it was... people liked it! And the papers... some of them are obviously total garbage, expecially now that I have time to look back on them... now that I know more. And maybe...

Maybe that's it. I keep this stuff to remind myself of how far I've come. To remind myself that I was once a first-year without a clue. I still don't have a clue, but at least now, I can look back and say: "Wow... I got that wrong?"

Ok, so it's not the most positive, but it's something. If nothing else, I should be typing up all the old tests and answers and selling them as crib-sheets... at least then I'd get somehting substantial in return.

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