Right now, I just want to let it all go.
I don't want to go back. Mom and dad will have to force me onto that bus tomorrow... I don't think I can do it. I can't stop crying. I broke down in the middle of masonville on Friday, and I haven't been able to stop yet.
I just want to live out the rest of my life curled into a ball under my bed. I would seriously concider dropping out if it wasn't so stupid. What kind of moron drops out a month before graduating? And just because it's paper crunch... I survive it every year, so what happened this time? How did I wind up this bad?
Nathan is the only positive thing bringing me back to north Bay right now. I mean, I know that I have my friends at Nip, but right now, I could be willing to let all of that go. I could be very easily convinced. I could forget all about Canadore and be one of those "waste of flesh" people Dad and I were talking about, who just flips burgers or works in a factory for the rest of their miserable lives.
No I couldn't. I can't even do that.
I can't even hide under my bed, because I'm too afraid.
What do I do now?
3 comments:
What about applying to Fanshaw? Or any other college near your home?
We'd miss you something horrible up here Lacey, but do what you gotta do.
Fanshawe could be a viable option... perhaps keep it in mind?
As for getting you back up here - I'm sure you'll come about on your own good merit. You are a smart person Lacey, and you know that you're almost done this University 'thing', and will most likely miss varied parts of it once it is all over.
And, if you can't depend on yourself to get your ass up here, I'll come down there myself. I will! Mark my words!.... and we'll make a quick trip over to Stratford for some delicious Rheo Thompson chocolates.... *yum*
... Indeed. One month dude, you can do it. I believe in you! And, I'll be right there with Tabs dragging your ass back up here. 'Cause two on one isn't fair.
So yeah, get your butt back up here dude. Apply at Fanshaw for late admission?
All right, BOTH of you come to Toronto at some point this summer: free place to stay, free tour guide, and did I mention free food?
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