Dream Interpretation?

Last night's dreams:

Dream 1. The Leak
I was in my apartment.  I woke up and there was water leaking all over the place.  the ceiling and walls were soaked.  there was water on the floor.  Brad, my landlord, was outside, and I called out the window to him that something was leaking.  the carpet was soaked.  He came in and said that he would work on fixing it.  I looked back at the kitchen, thinking that I should start moving things around, and the kitchen was empty and painted white.  there was nothing of mine in there, and the cupboards were empty.  Above the light in the kitchen, the ceiling was starting to turn brown and sag.  The water on the walls was dirty.

Possible Explanations: I spilled coffee on my coffee table before going to bed.  this made me angry as I was was trying to clean and wound up having to trash a lot of stuff.  plus, it smelled like, well, stale coffee.  I have been worried that my apartment has been overly messy, and I've been watching Hoarders. 

Interpretations (pulled from various online sources):
1. water leaking from the ceiling indicates physical dehydration. Makes sense, because I usually am.
2. leaking water symbloizes loss, disappointment and distress, and waisting energy on things that will not provide results.  OK, makes sense.  worrying about things that might not matter.
3. leaking water may indicate repressed feelings from the unconcious, or a metaphor for secret information that has leaked out.  I'm not sure about this one.  Repressed feeling maybe.
4. Seeing a kitchen signifies a need for warmth and emotional nourishment, and can be symbolic of how you are as a nurturing mother.  WHOA, ok, white, plain and empty?  Interesting there.  good thing I"m going home for christmas...
5. Muddy or dirty water represents wallowing in negative emotions, or cloudy judgement.

Overall impressions: I've been working with a councelor.  We've discussed the idea that leaving my job was like ending a long term relationship (with another person), and we all know how well I handle that... So, using that for my base, I'd say that the dream is talking about how my walls are starting to get worn and break down because of the negativity I've been feeling.  Being afraid to move forward and move on.  Looking back into the kitchen and seeing that it was white, sterile and empty and feeling that I have nothing to take from it could symbloize that I have nothing to take from the figure from the relationship that was supposed to be nurturing, and that wasting time looking for that, waiting for that from her is breaking me down.

Dream 2: the blade
 This one was short.  I was running down a hallway, following a doctor.  there were people trying to stop another person from getting to a scalpel.  the scalple changed apperances a couple of times, and the blade also broke a couple of times.  I remember grabbing the tool and the shard and thinking about how important it was that no one else got hold of it, and that I needed to hide it.

Possible Explanations: I've been trying to think about how I"m going to talk to my parents over the holidays.  Dad likes to hear the plan, the process, the point... he likes to nose into everything.  I've been trying to figure out how to tell him that I'm not comfortable talking about that stuff ever, but certainly not right now. See next dream for more on that.  Maybe picking up those pieces and hiding them so no one else could find them was a goal?

Interpretations
1. There is a part of me that is hidden that needs to come to the surface and that it needs to be revealed to myself, and possibly to someone else. 
2. Blades in a dream mean that there are important difficult decisions that need to be made carefully, and that balance is essential.  Sharp knives mean worry, broken ones defeat.

Overall Impressions: I've always believed in hiding your shame, burying the negative and pressing on.  I've never had to ask for help before.  Recently I've had to ask for help with money, but because I have been hiding some fo the difficulties I've been having, maybe that needs to come to the surface.  Also, I recently posted on ZetaChannel about feeling unemployable and insecure.  A broken blade means defeat, and I have felt defeated.

Dream 3:  The hard one
I don't remember why, but I had just got home on Christmas eve... Heather was at her Dad's, and Ash wasn't there, so it was just me and mom and Dad, and I felt SO disappointed that I had traveled so far and would not be able to see everyone.  I started YELLING, outright, red-faced, hard core yelling at dad.  I woke up actually worried that I had been yelling in my sleep.

Possible Explanations: Well, Chrismtas plans this year have changed.  There are some people I won't be able to see, but that's the nature of having family far and wide.

Interpretations:
1. Father's often represent power, presence, love and discipline. 
2. Dreaming about yelling represents repressed anger.  You may feel that your voice doesn't matter, is being ignored, or that your opinion doesn't count.
3. dreaming that the family is not "together" can denote gloom and disappointment.

Overall impressions: Ok, that one makes sense. Worried about being home with family for so long that they'll have some time to dig into the disappointment I feel about what's happened over the last few months, and certainly the disappointment I've caused them.

Dream 4: The one that might actually happen...

It's Chrismtas eve morning, and I don't have any of my christmas shopping done  We're sitting in the kitchen at home.  Nan is there, she said something about going for coffee.  I ask where and she says "Oh, I don't know, there are lots of places..."  and I say I want to go to. But when I come around to get my purse, she stands in my way.

Explanations: Ok, yeah, so I haven't actually made any christmas purchases yet... that might be part of it.  Christmas shopping invovles crowds and money, two things I really hate.

Interpretations:
1. Shopping indicates needs and desires.  So, dreaming that you havent shopped and need tomeans that you need to fulfull some of these needs and desires.
2. Seeing your grandmother means nurturing, protection and love.

Maybe I should go see Nan when I get home... get her to help me with a few things.


Wow... ok, so the clonazapam is starting to kick in, and I"m tired,  So I'm going to bed.  thoughts are welcome. 

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