Past is past

So, I said in the last post that I was going to explain why last week was so bad. I'll just summarize it now, because It's done and over with, and re-hashing isn't really doing anything for me.
-work
-work in the theatre (on the same day as a test)
-wrote (and probably failed) that test
-re-write of a paper due
-computers assignment due (which I only got half done)
-2 full all nighters in a row
-memorizing lines
-stress over where I'm going to live next year.

I think that's it... oh, and the costume shopping incident, and a few other little things, most of which involved a lack of sleep.

This week should be a bit less stressful: today was a write off due to the huge snow storm we got. Stupid snow. It is MARCH!!! It should be RAIN!! Tomorrow, all I have to worry about is making a doc's appointment, and a meeting, plus regular class stuff. Wednesday will be awsome: I'm reading LIVE at 100 Georges! I can't decide what to read... once I do, I'll probably post it, or a link to what I read, so anyone whose not there can see what was said. Thursday is going to be rehersal crunch time, and friday will be the same, until Todd shows up, and with any luck, carries me off to a night of drunken stupidity. Sweetness.

Anyways, I'm exhausted. I cleaned up my room a bit today, which manage to involve 4 loads of laundry and a realization that I really, really need to vacuume sometime very soon.

I still feel lonely. I think that's going to be a running theme for a while now. I really want someone to lay with: someone to, not so much "come home to", but someone I can just be with for a while, and do nothing, or talk, or make out, or whatever. I mean, at 20 (less than 2 months to 21), I think that's a reasonable request: one serious, real, trusting relationship. Emotional security, AND all the fun sex stuff, and not having to split them up and make due with one OR the other... I want what a lot of other people around me have. I guess it's just hard. I know I'm busy, and I've been told I'm intimidating... I'm not sure why. Once people get to know me, they realize that I'm really just scared, confused and have very low self-esteem. I'm not so intimidating then, but people just don't take the time.

Alright, I'm off. I'll be back tomorrow with more of the same, I'm sure. Or, maybe something interesting will actually happen. Who knows.