The Final Word.

Here's the deal. I have a response to the anonymous comment from my last post, and then I want all of this shit done and left behind.

First off, I don't appreciate being called a "fucking little redhead who thinks she's a princess..." for any reason. Both because I don't think I'm a princess, and because...well, I'm not a red head. *ba-Zing*. Seriously, that's just immature. If you really knew anything about me, you'd know that the last thing I see myself as is a princess.

Addressing the roumer issue: it's not a roumer if you hear it from first hand sources. And, seeing as Melissa did nothing to provide me with her version of the story (there were 4 days between the incident and the time Dave finally told me what the truth was, and she was on my MSN messenger, and could have at least apolguised in that time), I got the facts from people in DIRECT contact with Melissa that day: Dave (who was told by Ana, because he was in Parry Sound, but it's his apartment, and he has no reason to lie), and Sarah, who saw her on the bus, heading to Wendy's to see Ana, and spoke to Melissa Directly. So, it's not like I heard from Sarah who heard it from Heather who heard it from Drabble-Lacey who heard it from a friend... And whether she knew she had to work or not, she didn't have to tell me some bollocks story about being in Barrie... THAT was the obvious lie. So calling me a liar, makes her the kettle. Black.

Finally, I would really like to know who Anonymous is. First, because I'd like to know, so we don't experiance the "liz" phenomina over again (everyone saying it's someone else... all that jazz), and because I want to know who wants me to "Rot in hell". So I can tell them that the feeling is mutual. Or, at least so I know who I can take off my Christmas Card list. Stamps are expensive.

Oh, and one more thing. If I am burning bridges, to say, Melissa, or Ana, or whomever, I'm cool with that. They're bridges to places I'm sick of going anyways. Besides, my REAL friends' bridges are built of cement. Even if they singe, they will never fall.

So that's the last word on the situation. I've washed my hands of it, partly because nothing good can come of it (If she hasn't apologuised by now, she's not going to). The other thing is, I've got too much else to deal with.

Meaghan and I are ok: I kinda lost my cool with her the other night. Granted, it felt good at the time, but I've felt awful about it ever since. So, I've apologuised to her. I'm not sure what I should say to Craig, because he thought I was speaking on behalf of Steve. I still think him actually getting on a bus and going home was a little excessive, but whatever... I did the same.

I'm still feeling a bit... it's just an internal icky feeling. Some things have come to light in recent days, and I'm not sure who I can actually trust. Obviously, some people have shown their colours, but there are others that I'm not sure of.

Next year is going to be refreshing, I think. I'll be at a different school (sort of), meeting people in my field, and I'll have a different focus: I've decided that next year, I'm going to steer clear of SoS if I can. I need a change. I took a year off of band in High School, and that gave me a lot to think about itself. I want to be an observer of the finished product, not just the process.

That said, my focus will be turned entierly to SIAD. I want to see us travel to grade 7&8 classes, as well as high schools, both in North Bay and hopefully elsewhere. A few days ago, I saw an article in the Nugget about a mother who's son (a student in a North Bay high school) comitted suicide a year ago. She said that she, and others want to see programs about suicide awareness, as well as helping students learn coping skills without having to see guidance counicllers. She said that students shouldn't be expected to go to guidance councillers for these kinds of things, because either they won't out of pride, or it's too late by the time they do. Which, I admit, is sad, but it's true.

Also, police officers in the region have been talking to public school kids about something called the "Choking Game". Kids are actually strangling eachother to the point of passing out in order to experiance a high from oxygen deprivation... I'd say a SIAD type program is needed more than ever.

This is getting really long, eh? Ah, well. Here is the traditional list of what's due when, inspired by the lists on many other blogs...

1)Blood Relations: March 17 (7pm), 18 (2 & 7pm), 19(2pm)
I have to go so I can write my play review. I'll most likely go to the March 17, 7pm show, just to get it out of the way. Not that I don't want to see it, but I have other things needin' attention.

2)Mtg. with Angela: March 20, 9am
Self Explanitory, if you've been reading for a while.

3)Dr. Cochran: March 20, 12pm
This is the one I've been waiting on. Yup, I'm finally heading to the Psych hospital. Some will say that it's none too soon. Thing is, the issues have gotten... bigger since I made the appointment. I'm glad I didn't cancel it.

4)Philosophy Essay: March 21, 12.30pm
I can't remember what I wanted to do my essay on... Oh, well... I'll come up with something. It is a research paper though... Interesting.

5)Learning Presentation: March 22, 3.30pm
Blah, Blah, Blah...

6)Play Review: March 22, 6pm
Review of Blood Relations.

7)HOMEWARD BOUND!!!: March 23
Sparky's headed home for the weekend! Yay! Northland a-go-go! I need to get out of town, and that's the only weekend I can do it. I'll be leaving sometime Thursday, and returning Sunday.

8)Last Day to hand in Drama Essay: March 29
Though, I can hand it in sooner and get commentary from the prof, but whatever. I'll be doing mine of Blood Relations and Medea: Societal Pressures, The Perfect Woman and The Final Stance. Basically, how the pressure by men on the heroines of the respective plays forces the women to commit violent acts in order to be freed from the expectations placed upon them and their counterparts by society. Trippy, no?

9)Psych of Ed Test #3: April 3
I always wind up kicking my own ass on this one. I never study enough, I never feel prepared, and this is my last chance to pick up my grades. Massive studying will be done for this one.

10)Philosophy In-Class Exam: April 4
Again, massive studying of the basic stuff will be involved here: heteronormativity, M. Butterfly, monogamy and other stuff will be discussed, probably... There's an exam review class, but it's going to be cut short because we're behind.

11)Kid Lit Essay Due: April 6
I think Katy and Larkin and I are going to be working together on this one... Might have to. I'm not quite sure what I want to do, as none of the topics are terribly appealing.

12)Drama Exam: April 10th
SparksNotes.com, here I come... Aparently, the prof copy/pastes her lectures from there...

13)Amanda's Wedding: April 14-16
Nathan and I will be heading to Ajax for this one: my cousin's wedding. It should be fun, and I'll get to see Nathan all gussied up! :)

14) Kid Lit Exam: April 22
Blah, Blah, Mothers. Blah, Blah, religious alegory. Blah, Blah, Bildouns Romane... Blah, Blah, crap that I don't care about. I really wasn't impressed with this class.

15) Learning Exam: April 27
This one's going to be the Biggie. See, the Midterm was a mess. Aparently, the class average was between a 50 and 55%, so he had to give up 7 gift marks to get us where we should be (it put me at a 70%, so I was happy). But, yeah, HUGE studying on this one.

After that, Mom and I will be vanishing for a week to the cottage. After getting tattoos, of course. And maybe a navel piercing, if I can afford it.

Wow... 2 hours later...
Supper time! I'll come up with something thought provoking for tomorrow.

Some People...

This was posted as a comment on my post "give up and go away" by the President of SoS of Nusu and Csrc...

I understand that this is your personal blog, however if you have an issue with me or SOS i would appreciate it if you talked to ME about it so that we can attempt to resolve it. It was known since September that we were aiming for 10 shows so 7 is a break! and i'd really like to know why i'm being followed by a Pied Piper if i have no idea what i am doing.... please let me know.

Let's start with the obvious: YES, this is my PERSONAL Blog. This is my VENTING space. That post was an OBVIOUS vent. I was frustrated about a lot of things, and SoS just happened to be the thing pissing me off most at that moment. I'm sorry it worked out that way, but...

I don't have an issue with you, personally. I have an issue with the way the club is run. It is EXACTLY the same issue I had last year. EXACTLY the same unresolvable issue that makes SoS what it is. Most people have just learned to tune me out when I get off on that rant.

Yes, we were aiming for 10 shows. That's great, and I'd be cool with that. We were NOT, however, aiming for over 500 hours of rehersal time for a 40 minute play. We were NOT aiming to take this bloody circus on the road. And we were CERTAINLY NOT aiming to extend the Wierd Kid INTO THE GOD DAMNED SCHOOL YEAR. I was under the impression that, because the club is extracurricular, we would only have to skip classes on a voluntary basis. The students at Canadore who signed up for this show knew from SEPTEMBER that they would be missing a week of classes. I, however, did not know IN SEPTEMBER that I would be missing class for this.

And by the way, hun, I highly, highly doubt that the school boards can access our password protected forum, nor would they want to. Taking down my post seemed just an eensy weensy bit power trippy, if you ask me.

And it's not that you don't know what you're doing... that was more directed at the fact that you don't know much about Blood Relations, and the VP doesn't know much about Wierd Kid, which is fine, though I thought exec should be keeping eachother informed, but what ever... it was just that when the VP told me that she didn't know what was going on with the Wierd Kid, she told me: "... right now, I know about as much as you know, which is pretty much what Steve knows..." Hence, Pied Piper.

So, darlin, the next time you have an issue with me, why not come to me privatly about it, instead of ANONYMOUSLY posting it on my PUBLIC, PERSONAL blog.

So, RELAX, DAMNIT.

...Other than that, money sucks, stress is high, I may yet kill someone and everything else is spiff!