July 25, 2011

Letters from the Edge:

So, to stave off insanity and appease the universe at large, I've been writing letters in my head. Here are some of them:

Dear Rest of our Building:

I'm next in line for the laundry machines with 2 loads of JUST socks, underwear and my camisols (which I actually have to wear under everything now...). I still have work clothes, towels and bedding to do. Sorry.
I promise to leave the non-essentials until later this week. Also, keep in mind, I wash in cold water, so at least there will be hot water later!

Funny story, after putting those loads in the wash, I came back up to sort out the work clothes and found MORE socks and underwear. That fact lead to this letter:

Dear Clothing,

I love you all dearly, but there are simply too many of you. I think it's time for me to thin the herd... again. I'm sorry. To those who will be going, thank you for the good times, and enjoy your new homes. To those who are staying, stop multiplying in the closet, or you'll be next.

Much love and Adoration,
Coming soon, I will be posting some thoughts about a wedding we were involved in this past weekend, including some things that my pending-though-postponed nuptuals will and/or will not include. However, given the fact that it was a Newfie-Jamaican wedding with an open bar, I felt the following letter was required:

Dear Liver:

I'm sorry. Really. I'm so, so sorry. Though, I must say, you did a really, REALLY awesome job of keeping up with all that Gin.

Forgive me?
See Also:

Dear Gin:

I missed you. More than I realized. You need to be more a part of my life.

Devotedly yours,
Seriously, I haven't had that many G&T's since... University? Probably. I could still write sonnets. Moving on...
Remember how I now have Old Job and New Job? Remember how excited I was about that? Well...

Dear Old Job:

You become increasingly annoying with each passing shift. The "work" part isn't that bad, but the people are intolerable. If I had to spend another minute listening to those girls blathering on about how their closets are so Effing huge, or how their dad is building them a beer-pong table for University in September (SERIOUSLY?), I may have flayed someone alive.

Smarten up.


Dear New Job,

It's not that I don't appreciate your enthousiasm; I do! I love that you're simple (usually), and provide me with the extra coin I need to do things like, you know, dig myself out of the debt-pit I've been snuggling into over the last 10 years. But please, for the love of all things fuzzy, ease up a little? There are only so many hours in the week, and some of them I must spend sleeping.


I think that's enough for now, don't you?

OH! One more...

Dear Hair:

You look FABULOUS! Don't ever stop!


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