June 10, 2010

Saying Goodbye

The people from Rebuilt Resources are coming tomorrow to take some of my furnature (the stuff I'm not taking with me), so I've spent the evening getting everything cleaned up.

I was sitting on the floor, picking up change from under the couch, and I remembered the time Katie and I picked up enough change off her floor for her to pay cover and get a drink at the bar.

I remember so many good things about this town. So many good memories. I really like this place. I have the best landlord ever, and I know this place. I know where to go to get things. I know the roads, and I haven't gotten lost in a long time. I know some very good people here, that I probably won't see again.

I know that sometimes things didn't go right here, and I know that there are a lot of ass-hats in this town. But it's pretty and peaceful and I know it. I've lived here for a very long time. I've become a grown-up, and... ok, somehow I've regressed from a grown-up into whatever I am now. All of it was here. I learned to be independant, I learned that I don't like taking shots, and that push come to shove, I'd rather have a gin and tonic than anything involving tequila. I learned what Facebook and Youtube are. I started this blog right here in North Bay.

I think most of my long term readers (and probably any of the short term ones out there) know that I don't really like change. I like to lie to myself and tell myself that it's a big adventure, and that I need change to be happy. Well, that last bit is true, but I don't particularly like it.

But, 2 nights before I move, I'm sitting here in the place I've lived in over the last 2 years. I'm alone, I'm not drinking (thought a glass of wine would be pretty nice right now), I'm not smoking (I quit a while ago), and I'm... accepting it. I'm accepting the fact that there's nothing left in this town for me right now.

And, let's be honest, I'm heading for pretty awesome stuff. I'm moving in with the man I love and am going to marry, into a beautiful apartment, with my cat (my BABY). It's going to be awesome. But still...

I'm still working on the packing up thing. I'm exhausted, and sore. And I'm wondering if I'll be ready.

Not just for the physical move... that I'm pretty sure I'm not even going to be a little ready for. Oh well...

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