I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason. They have to. There has to be some sense within the chaos, or else what would the point be? There are too many little connections and bits and scraps that it can't all be random chance.
Today, I was filling out an application to volunteer at the North Bay Humane Society, and some of the questions really made me think:
Why are you volunteering?: I miss volunteering.
What special skills do you have that could help our cause: well, I love working with cats and have experiance working with special needs/abandoned animals. I have experiance working with and coordinating volunteers. I have experiance working with, setting up, organizing and executing whole fundraisers...I have media experiance... I... Dude, what skills Don't I have? Wow...
What do you think you can do to enrich the lives of the animals we have here?: I have a lot of love to give them. I do. I have a lot... to give.
The two men in my life who know the most about me (Adam and Dave St.G, the crazy LARPer from Sudbury) have been trying to convince me for a long time that I don't give myself enough credit, and I don't see my own skills. I'm actually starting to think that they're right. I do stuff. I pull fundraisers out of thin air. I move people. I am pretty damned talented when it comes to this stuff.
So, there aren't really any opportunities for my kind right now. Not paid, anyways. So what? I'll find opportunities to do this, to hone my craft, and eventually, some day down the road, I'll maybe get to do this as a career. I mean, yes, I had a taste of what I wanted, but the chaos and the confusion and the resentment, maybe it's all just a sign that I wasn't ready. I got a little taste of everything all at once, and it was too much. Ok, so scale it back.
I think I'm ready now. I think I'm ready to get back out there.
Today was a good day. :)