December 20, 2009

Now in Large Print!

I had to increase the size of the font because I"m having trouble reading my own posts. Sad, eh? And I keep insisting I'm not old.

Today was a long day. And is continuing to be so... But tomorrow should go pretty quick.

I'm still not really in a Christmassy mood. I'm in a winter mood, but I don't think it's the same. I think Christmas rushes up earlier and earlier every year, and catches me off guard.

2009 has been a year of mediocre ups and hard downs. 2010 is going to be a year of adventure and suprises. I'm hopeful that I'll find empolyment of some sort very early in the year, and there may or may not be a move in the near future... nowhere far, just to a new place. I love this city with all of my heart, but it's just not loving me back.

I think recent changes in my medication are the cause of my recent "really bizarre dream attacks". Last night, I was dreaming that Adam and I were rushing to get to a wedding, and on the way, we stopped at another wedding that was happening... it was Mom's (which is really odd, because my parents are in the minority that are still happily married), but no one had shown up. She told me to hurry to the other wedding, so we wouldn't miss it. We get to the other wedding, and it's not so much a wedding as a reception... again, Moms. Again, really wierd, because dad was there, and he was ok with it! Then I got all confused, and Ash told me it was ok, because Mom's honeymoon was in Tahiti, which was the same place Nan and Grandad were going with her, and that it was too bad I couldn't go. Then I got really upset and starte CRYING (like, hard sobbing hysterics), and ran into mom and dad's bedroom... which was set up like it was when we were kids, not like it is now. And I sobbed for a while, then went downstairs (again, which was set up like when we were kids, not finished like it is now) and mom, ash, myself and like, 3 other women were served this very elaborate meal by dad, but I was mad the whole time.

I don't know what it means at all. I'm too tired to analyze it.

But now, I'm going to embarass myself horribly. I"m going to sing infront of Adam. I told him it was taking it to a level of our relationship that I'm not sure I"m ready for. He asked if it was like peeing with the door open. No, it's really beyond that.

But... I guess if we're ever to move in together he'll hear me sing eventually... yech.

Here goes nothin'.

[Never mind... we're going to switch out guitars instead. Rock Band isn't as fun without the drums though... maybe tomorrow.]

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