My cheque was on hold at the bank. When I transfered it so I could pay rent, I realized that I have $20 to my name.
I've been having mild panic attacks since, wondering what's going to happen in November when I can't find the $700 to pay rent. I told Adam I was worried. He said "don't stress about it".
So I'm not. I'm not stressing about it, because right now, there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm just going to sit here and feel overwhelmingly hopeless, angry and miserable.
I don't need to get out of bed tomorrow. Adam has the car for work. Cause, you know, he does that. So, I'm going to just stay in bed tomorrow. all day. Because you know what? I keep thinking that things can't get any worse, but then they do. So, if I just don't get out of bed tomorrow, things cannot possibly get any worse.
And, not that you'll read this now, because the only reason you ever read this was to look for reasons to fire me for fun... but I'm still angry at you for making me feel like this... fearful, pathetic and useless. You never will EVER know how you made me feel, because you don't believe it's real. It is. And I'm still Angry. Very angry.
Not that it really matters.