March 11, 2008

Tales from a Monday

That's right, amigos, it's time to break out the gawd-aweful spring colours... *shudders* oh pastels... I don't really like it that much, but I'm hoping that it will kind of act as a prod... Ok, it's spring time now, I've got my colours out... Maybe the rest of the athmosphere will catch up.

Also, I've changed/cleaned up some of my linkages. If your blog is now linked, and you don't want it to be, let me know. It your blog is not linked and you think it should be, let me know that too.

So anyways, after rehearsal last night, Mike and Karl and I went to Boston Pizza and chilled for a bit. It was kind of nice to go out with a small-ish group that I don't usually go out with, and just be geeks. Anyways, as I left, I realized that I didn't have any smokes left, so I stopped at the Macs on Algonquin to grab a pack. I walk in, and who should be working but Nathan! We talked for about 2 hours about how things have been... His son, Raine, is 10 months now, and it turns out that he's a hemopheliac. Aparently it comes from the mother's side, but usually only males present with it. And we talked about how things have been, what we've both been through since the split, things in general, how we've changed. And when I went to leave, he gave me this big, suck-me-into-his-chest kind of hug, and it was fantastic. I soooooooooooo needed that. Not just the in passing, quick hug, but the heavy, I don't mind if you don't want to let go kind of hug. It felt really, really good.

No, mom, not that good... I'm past that point in my life. Moving on, career focus and whatnot.

Anyways, so that was my monday. Then I went home and wrote a long, long, crazy long letter to my Texas Sweetheart (penpal), just rambling on about all sorts of things. I went to bed feeling accomplished, like I'd gotten something done, but with a heaviness in my chest, like something still incomplete in me. It's probably just nostalgia for the good-ole' times, or something redonculous like that, but my god, it was like someone was standing on my chest and shoulders, but trying to pull my arms up... Ripping me apart.

That, actually, might have just been stress. I got to make my first 911 call Monday morning at the shelter, so I was all worked up and jumpy from that. Finally having a minute to lie down and just deep-breathe... It was like I couldn't stop, like I just couldn't let everything be. I kept waiting for Pierre (long story from an in-class meditation), but I couldn't focus enough to let him come to me. I kept waiting for the water, but every time I caught a glimpse of it, it would fade. Maybe because I was expecting it? Wanting it? I don't know.

Anyways, I'm in the lab now, and I'm mad at myself because I can't find the USB key with Sweet Hearts on it, and I really wanted to work on that tonight, rather than just killing time on Facebook. But, Alex said that he'd drop by later with coffee, so maybe I'll just wait for him.

Cheers, all. Drop me a line some time, just to stop me from being left alone with myself for too long. Also, I like people. People coming to visit gives me a reason to clean my apartment. :)

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