December 20, 2007

halelughia and holy....

You know, Christmas in the bay might not have been such a bad plan. I could make it back there in less than 7 hours...

There's this song... Grown-up Christmas list. Here's mine:

I wish my sister didn't treat me like some screw up, lazy fat slob who can't do anything right.

I wish I wasn't just some lazy, fat screw-up slob.

I wish money wasn't such an issue.

I wish my Grandmother would give it a rest and realize that her age is a sign that she should have grown up long ago.

I wish I had MY OWN LAPTOP.

I wish I could do at least one thing right.

Anyways, I can't wait for Festivus. The whole airing of greviances is looking real nice right now. I thought Christmas was supposed to be a happy time of year. Something about coming home just sucked the holiday spirit out of me... like in the Matrix when they suck the bug out of Keanu Reeve's torso. Yeah. I've had the urge to watch gory horror movies since the Movie Night at Courtney's.

Also, I've started formulating a new year's resolution fit for the Biggest Loser. I'm fat. Like Fatty-fat-fat-fat. Like, I've taken to wearing the gut-sucker I bought for the Red Cross Gala on a daily basis to fit into my new jeans (size 12, up from the size 7's I used to be)... I know the Hoodia worked well, and I know Apple Cider vinagre worked, and I know that Papyae enzymes worked for water retention. So, that leaves Cyanne Pepper and Cinnimon oil. And veggies. Lots of lots of veggies. Fiber. And rediculous amounts of water. I might have to start swimming or walking or something.

Have you heard the one about...

I think I'm losing my mind.

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