I saw this on a Church sign on Lakeshore, and damned near peed myself laughing:
"We need to work on our relationship.
You know, I don't think this is going to work out. We just aren't compatable. You're a little more high maintenance than I was prepared for, and you really have some control issues you need to work out. Not to mention the whole "love everyone" thing... I'm in a place in my life where I need monogamy, and you... Well, between the obsessed fans, the hookers, the men... It's all just too much.
Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy. I'm sure you'll find someone else no problem. We just chose to solve the world's problems in different ways. I help people when you can't because you're never actually physically present and don't really , and you convince people to kill for you. Kinda different. But, you know, whatever works.
Anyways, no hard feelings. And, I'm sure we'll see each other around, but I should mention... this whole "being with me where ever I go" thing? Kinda creepy. One of my cop friends said that you really need to knock it off, or you could get into some big trouble. Just sayin.
So that's it. Best wishes!
Thanks for the memories!