May 6, 2007

I'll trade you your cupcake for my immortal soul!

Reading the comments on my last post, I think Megs is right... I might, in fact, be allergic to life. Drat. We all know what the cure for that is, and you can't drive on LSD...

Anyways... I think I may have figured out what one of my triggers is. I can't really post about it here, because I don't want to hurt anyone, but I know what it is that I see and hear when I pick, and recently it's been getting much worse. Certain voices, certain things people have said... I can't figure out how to just purge them from my brain. Any luck on that hard-reset, Ducky?

So, tomorrow I'm back at Richardsons, on Afternoons. Pat's shift. Hm. Should be interesting. I'm telling myself "One Month, that's it..." so I can allow myself to start looking for something else. To be honest, I do kinda feel loyal to the plant... I don't know why. I mean, working there all summer would take me completely out of debt, and give me a little cash to start with, but I don't know if it's really worth it anymore.

I feel like I'm in this emotional black hole, like nothing makes sense. And lonely. Very much lonely. I don't think working's really going to help, but we'll see.

At least I know one thing about Richardsons: It won't suprise me. That place never changes.


Beatrix said...

I'm still working on it, believe me. In the meantime, if there's anything else I can do, let me know. Seriously. Call or MSN. Rant. If we can't rant in person, it's the next best thing. And ranting is good for your health. :D

Anonymous said...

That goes for any of us Lacey, we are all here to listen almost any hour of the day between us all. Just let us know, hope everything else is going well. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL I didn't mean allergic to you know, life, but I know where you are coming from. Think about the money, think about not having to worry quite so much come sept about financials. I wish I could promise it gets better but considering how my job is currently raping my soul...I wouldn't know lol!
love ya,

Colleen said...

Dude, you can't do annnnything on LSD.

And sometimes not having any surprises is a good thing.

'Congratulations sir, it's a boy! And he's black just like... your next door neighbour...?'