Rut.

See... I knew this would happen.

I'm at home, and there's things that I want to do, but my body is saying no. So I've got this cross between wanting to clean and to vacuum, and wanting to plant my ass on the couch and do nothing. It's not exactly a happy thing. If I had an hour or two at home, I'd be more likely to do something like clean, just to keep myself awake. I could bake, but all I have are the mixes, and I want to save those for next weekend. I could vacuum, but it's kinda late. I could sleep, but there are other things that I should be doing... GAH.

So, I've become an emo geek. Not even a punk rock emo geek... I'm like the worst sort. Like I should be drug out into the street and either shot or given booze through a funnle until I come to my senses...

I'm sitting here in my pajamas listening to Clay Aiken's new album. Don't worry... I downloaded it. Even I'm not dumb enough to spend money on something that pathetic. Like Groceries. Who needs em? not me... Blah. I did make a stop at our friendly neighborhood foodbank though... good stuff there, really. I was suprised. Though, there should be more.

I guess I just feel a little... Something? Defeated? Rejected. That might be it. Used. That too. Not by you guys, but more by my own gullibility. Sometimes the needy don't need help, they just need someone to do their homework for them... Go me.

I really don't like this whole sitting in my room thing anymore. I want to go out and do... something. I want to be on my way to a rehersal or a meeting or a function. I mean... I want to be on the go, so I'm not just standing still. I'm not just sitting here thinking... Wow, what do I do next.

And you know, I was dumb enough to even call him. And dumb enough to think he might even call back.

Some days, I disappoint even myself.

See? Emo.