Part + Part = Whole

So, in PSL today, we discussed A___ (one of those greek drunks...)'s theory that civilization began as a group of creatures that had 4 arms, 4 legs, and 1 head with 2 faces.

Yeah, I know, but there is a point...

So, these creatures had EVERYTHING they could ever had wanted, but began to think of themselves as Gods, so Zues threw lightning bolts at a group of them to split them down the middle, creating "humans". But this group of Humans felt so horridly that they just clung to their other half, and starved to death, as they could do nothing else. So, Zues decided to try again, using the other group of creatures, but this time, he scattered the humans about, and they were made to desire to search the globe for their "other half". So, they wandered the planet, connecting whith whatever "other half" captured their fancy. This is (pretty much) the Origin of Love.

Tonight, Nathan told me that he feels this way about me.

We had been talking about the trip we're planning to go and meet MY parents this November. And that was all fine and good, until I mentioned that my Dad will probably not like him (what? I'm the eldest daughter, and Nathan's taking me away from Daddy... he won't be that pleased anyways). Dad, though he doesn't think that money is everything, feels that I need someone to "provide financial security for me" (he thinks I'm a flake...), but Nathan, while he doesn't feel that money is worthless, feels that a person is measured by deeds, not by what's in his wallet. This may cause some tension. And, I still put a lot of stock in my parents opinion, for a variety of reasons. So, Nathan asked me: "Will you put value on your parent's opinion, even if they don't like me?" My answer: yes. Then he got all quiet...

We had a bit of a snit after that, so he had me drive to the waterfront, where we talked abit about family values and such. I explained to him that by "yes", I meant that the value of their opinion will not effect my feelings for him. I may get frosty as I work out why my parents don't like him (assuming they won't), and try to convince them of why they should, but my feeling for him won't change. I'll still care for him.

Then we drove to Ryans. Before we pulled in, he turned the radio down and started talking. The basics of what he said went something like this:

"I can fall for someone, and I can fall fast and hard. I usually try to maintain a degree of seperation from the person, just to stop that from happening, but with you, it feels so comfortable and so right, that I've let that barrier down...."

He went on...

"I know you say you won't leave me, but I've so many people I've trusted say that they're there for me, that they have my back, then they just vanish..." I think he's refering to his Ex-fiancee's there...

He started to get a bit...upset, so I held him, and I told him the truth:

"I know how you feel, and I know what it's like to fall hard, but I need to be honest with you: I'm not there yet. I'm not saying I won't be... I've been hurt too. And after dealing with so much, I've seperated myself with a wall, and it's pretty thick. I love you, and I'm NOT leaving you, I'm just not *there* yet. So, if I seem reserved, that's why."

He kissed me, and told me he knew, and he understood. He also said that he feels a peace with me he felt he's been missing... Things like that. I make him happy.

That's different, to say the very least... I'm used to making men miserable!

Anyways, yeah, that's the latest on the relationship front. Too much? Too fast? WAY added to both of those questions? Yeah, maybe...probably. But he can't fight it, and I won't. I'm sick of fighting how I feel for the benifit of others, or because it's what I "should" do. It does bad, bad things to the stomach.

Moving right along: Class today was interesting. Kid Lit Lab was... average, as usual, and my love for PSL is growing by the class. Also, I talked to Kyle Marsh, VPI, who is working hard on the club safety deal, and I"m still helping him there. AND, I talked to Steph from the Hibou, who told me that she likes my ideas, gave me some people to get in touch with, and told me that the deadline for submission for the next issue is... October 4th?!? Ok, so aparently we're going to try going bi-weekly. Great. She asked my opinion, and I said that with so much going on, it might be hard for people to generate that kind of work. Sure, it's possible, and I'll try my damnedest, but that makes for 3 issues during the November paper rush, and really, there isn't that much news at Nip. We'll see what she decides there...

I ran into Jen, who gave me the perfect idea for an article submission: a piece on EASY STRESS RELIEF!! Aparently, she had a physical (passed out), emotional (inconsolable crying) and psychological (didn't know why) breakdown in the middle of her class, and is taking the next 2 days off. Whoa. And, with other snits, kerfuffles and general clusterflucks going on, people are hitting bottom hard, and the all-nighters haven't even started! It seems like everyone is falling behind a lot faster than usual. People need to chill. So I'll write about it, (again) and hopefully someone will pay attention, or students are going to start dropping like flies!

So... On for tomorrow:
Seminar, 12.30-2pm
Reading, Writing, Cleaning, Packing, 2.30-6pm
-Reading: Plato's Symposium, and other missing PSL stuff, Romance, Kid Lit, and Drama
-Writing: Journals for Romance and Kid Lit, Articles about Clubs (yeah, I'm still doing that), Stress article
-Cleaning: My room is again a disaster. Even if I don't do laundry (I keep forgeting to take things out of the dryer...), I need to get the Clutter OUT!!!
-Packing: For Vanessa's Dad's wedding on Saturday.
Drama, 6.30-9.30pm
sleep.....

Thursday, I have:
-Dr's Appt for physical and blood test (don't ask...), 9.30ish to 10.30ish am
-Work, 12-6pm
-Kid Lit, 6.30-8.30pm
-Finish Hibou Articles, if not Kereoke!

Friday, I will be leaving after work for Sudbury-area... Once Vanessa gets me a map...

*sigh* It never ends...

At least I'm not the only one!