The More things change...

You know, it's true: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I've been talking a lot about change. And so far, the personal stuff has gone pretty well. I'm starting to work things out, clean up my "loose ends" and whatnot... It's the external stuff that is at a standstill.

As much as I want them to change, people around me are hanging on to old, frustrating habits. It seems that the drive for self improvement is not as contageous as I thought it might be. Because of this, I'm starting to sense a bit of strain in certain relationships. Especially when talk of family and marriage comes into play. Even talk of living arangements get tense...

It's still hard to let go. It's hard to stop playing my friend's keeper, because I know that if I don't, no one will, and he will continue on this spiral (blaming anyone else, of course), and I will have to watch a good friend crash and burn. I don't want to see him gutter out, but I can't keep fighting him, especially when his girlfriend has given up as well, and I believe she resents me for my efforts. And, it's hard to let go of hope. Hope that other players will make their moves. Hope that new characters will make an apperance. Hope that fantasy doesn't have to be compleatly seperate from reality...

In any case, Things have change. But a lot, the principles, the "real" stuff, has stayed. The people I cared about, I still do. I always will. So, really, the more I change, the more the real parts of me stay the same.

{Edited for missing words...}