Warming up

Ohmygoditscold....

Brrrr.... I don't know what it is... It isn't even that cold outside. It's been a lot colder. It's just tonight... I can't shake it. I'm frozen through. So, I made some oatmeal and some tea, and hopefully that will warm me up before bed. I'm probably going to lie down, read over the notes from placement, and then pretend the world doesn't exist. That hell week is over, that both shows are done, that I'm out on placement with a hope in hell of getting a job, and that heat actually radiated from the sun.

The cabin fever thing I mentioned before? Yeah, getting worse. I actually CLEANED today. No, seriously. Like, my desk is cleaned off. Like, there's actual floor space now. I did laundry and dishes. And then I wrote out my inner monologue for 20 minutes on IRC, even though I knew no one was there.

I think I need out. I think I need a drink and a neck rub. And Chocolate. And real Grecco's pizza. And a warm breeze. A soak in a hot bath. A sauna. Hot Stone Massage. By Hot...never mind. I should stop calling him that... there's actually a chance he might read this. He said he "realized I had a blog" the other day... I don't know what that means.

But...Shaun, if you really read this, I'd settle for a Chai tea (you'll just have to deal with me calling them Chai-Chai's, and potentially doing the Chai-Chai dance...). And cheesecake. The New York kind. With raspberries....TWIGGS!!!! You mentioned it the other day, and I had a nostalgia moment. I might have to round up a posse.

And now my mom's telling me that things start to fall apart when you're 30. Now I'm going to have to bring her to a Soc class...

I feel like I"m going to explode. Combust.... Little pieces everywhere.

Just another Day... ?

So, nothing really extravagant happened today. No huge surprises or shotgun weddings... Just another day, really.

Started out kinda icky... I made a point of sleeping in, because I felt icky. Laid in the sun (I call this my lizard-on-rock time) for about a half hour, went to the school to hand in a paper, got a test back (23/25!!) came home... And then I got a bizarre valentine...

Shaun came over. For about an hour. He stopped in just to pick up the notes from class, but wound up staying for tea. We talked about... well, the usual philosophical "we're cool and know what we're talking about" bologna that we usually talk about. It was nice to just chat with someone new and different for a while. Someone who hasn't heard all my stories yet...

Anyways, then I went to rehearsal, and got another valentine, though this one was more creepy than anything... Flowers from Sarah V. Flowers that Sarah V. got from her stalker ex-boyfriend who apparently now knows where she lives. Creepy. Also, I wrote poetry on the cover of my script. It's actually not bad.

So, yeah... just another day.

Done.

I had a huge post on the topic at hand, but it was unexpectedly deleted when my computer overheated... So this is what I remember of what I said.

Shilly-Shallying is stupid. I'm sick and tired of waiting around. I've made my move, and nothing was done in return. Therefore, I'm making the attempt to move on. Colleen suggested that I start looking for something new, but I think it would be best for me to return to my previous way of thinking... I don't have time for the bullshit. I don't have time to wait. I really, really don't have the patience for indecision. I'm sick of being the leader... take ME by the hand for once, damn it.

Also, please, please PLEASE (and this is for everyone...) try to respect my decision to say no. When I say I can't make it to something, it's not because I'm trying to be a bitch and ruin your fun. It's because I'm really sick. And I'm really seriously tired. My body is beginning to deteriorate because of recent events (hence the hive/welt things for the last two days, and the flu that's lasted 3 weeks...), and when I tell you I can't do something, it's because I"m physically, mentally, emotionally, medically unable to do so. Don't guilt me. If you want to make me out to be the bad guy, fine... Whatever. I'll just walk away.

Oh, and if I say I'll do something, don't make me chase you for details. Don't make me call 500 times to get the where and when, and don't expect me to wait around. New rule: if you take more than an hour to get me the details, don't expect me to be there.

I have game tonight (which I do, actually, really want to do), I have a presentation and a final exam tomorrow and a test on Tuesday. Next Saturday, December 2nd, I may or may
be working at the SoS silent Auction (I need details on this, but I know that they're not confirmed yet...) and I will be a phone-operator for the Lions Children's Christmas Telethon from 10pm-11pm. I'm really looking forward to both of these things.

Cocktails and Cleavage is still schedualed for December 9th. All interested, please RSVP ASAP.

That's it for now. Sorry to vent, especially after such good things that have been happeneing, but I needed to say my peace.