Let's start the insanity...

...Giddy up!

I've only been to 3 classes so far, and already, my head is going to explode.

It's not like the courses are difficult or anything: most of them look to be intellectually stimulating, to say the very least. It's just a lot to wrap my head around, especially since those three classes had actual lectures involved. Usually on the first night, the prof hands out the syllabus (course outline), tells us what's involved in the class, then sends us off on our marry ways. When they start lecturing in the first week, I always feel like I'm being thrown into the frey. I prefer to ease in.

That, and ALREADY I've got a handful of assignments coming due soon, and a whack in November, but I want those out of the way Asap, because of Nanowrimo. We'll see.

Things seem to be going well otherwise. We had a Magic the Gathering gathering last night, which was awsome! I've discovered a love of kick-your-ass-on-the-quick creature decks, and I'm beginning to understand the logic of tokens. Geoff was explaining the game to Nathan, and I was able to catch a few things that I didn't understand before. Geoff's an awsome teacher, because he can break things down into easy to get pieces, and he's relaxed enough that he can get from point A to point X without getting flustered, like I do.

I'm glad that Nathan is weaving into my group this easily. I was worried that he might be a bit "too much" for people to handle: he can be very talkative, and makes jokes that sometimes seem off-colour, but so do the rest of us, which works well. He's culturing Danny a bit, which he needs, and he and Tabetha hit it off royally when he brought up his religious beliefs.

I'm still worried that things are moving too fast. Nathan keeps assuring me that he'll wait as long as I need him to, for anything, but... I guess I've just never been in a relationship like this. I want to wait more. Neither of us want it to be about sex, and that's working out well...

I don't want to tell him this: but I'm worried that maybe he is the one. I mean, after what Mom and Dad said, and my feelings all summer about watching others get married and such... As much as I want it, as much as I want someone beside me, I want to be alone too. I'm really getting a feel for myself, and I feel like I"m really coming into myself as a person. But I keep coming back to Dogma (yeah, the movie), and Alan Rickman ("The Metatron")'s line about Bethany stating that everything she was was a lie:

"You are Bethany Sloan, and even God himself can't take that away from you... Now, just be this too."

Can I be and become myself, and be his too? Maybe that's something I have to find out along the way... One of many lessons along the path.

God, now I'm getting all philosophical. I blame Nathan. His religious/philosophical views are rubbing off on me.

That's it for now, I guess. I have an "early" seminar in the morning, and should go to bed.

Zzzzzzz........