Stood Up

Sometimes, people amaze me. The ability to forget people, the ability to let people down and not apologuize... the ability to not feel guilt. It amazes me that people are willing to hurt those around them without remorse. To lie, flat out.

I've tried. I've tried to not let people down. I've tried to meet the standards as best I can at all times. I meet deadlines, within reason. The guilt I feel when I've forgotten someone, been late for a meeting, or said no to an offer from a friend is uncomfortable enough that I make notes to myself, almost to the point of paranoia. I made time for anyone who wanted it, whenever I could. I try not to lie, except to spare the feelings of others. I refuse to shrug off responsability at work. And for all this, I get stood up, forgotten and brushed aside.

Here, my friends, is where that all ends. I've made vows like this before, but never feeling the hurt I feel now. This is it. I will NOT wait for you. I will NOT put my life on hold until it is convenient for you anymore. I will NOT feel guilty when I can't be there, or when I forget you, since you've forgotten about me enough. I don't care whether your mind is elsewhere, you have "Significant Other" responsabilities, or if you're simply selfish. It doesn't matter anymore. the actions of those around me in recent days have lead me to my breaking point.

Also, Please, don't be suprised if I start making demands. Finally. Usually I just ask. I something doesn't work, "It's ok" will no longer be my response. Because, ladies and gentlemen, It's NOT OK. It's not alright for you to brush me off. It's not alright to forget about me and leave me stranded. I will not allow you to be conditioned to believe that I'm your personal DoorMat. I will not be stepped on again.