September 28, 2009

Musings on my first day back to work...

These are the things I think about on my lunch breaks...

"I'm sorry that didn't get taken care of last week while I was 6 hours away on vacation, but when I broke out my Ouijii Board and chanelled Gene Roddenberry, I found out that transporter technology will remain a scientific impossibility until humans make first contact with Vulcans, and that won't happen until Zephram Cochran's flight in 2063, and besides, I don't that any form of warp-capable technology is in our current fiscal budget."


"I thought about attempting a leap back through the time space continuum to take care of the issue before I even left, but the temporal prime directive forbids it. Besides, I'm trying to keep off the radar, because my biological and technological distinctivness would make me far too tempting a target. So, you can see, that any attempt I could have made to take care of this issue last week, while I was 6 hours away and on vacation, would not only have created a temporal paradox, and possibly have caused in interstellar incident with the Vulcan homeworld for accelarating First Contact beyond the logical advancement of species, but taking care of this one small issue while on my vacation may have left us vulnerable to Borg attack, endangering the human race, and leading to our complete and utter anhialation."

"*blink*...Are you sassing me with Star Trek logic?"

"...Does it make you respect me more?"

I should write for Dilbert.

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