Yesterday night, I officially started a 2 week leave of absense from my position on SoS executive, and effectivly, from SoS as a group.
After a conversation with another member of exec, it became clear that I need to get my priorities straightened out. My community work advances my standing in my field, and allows me oppertunities to network: getting to know potential future employers and agencies, therefore increasing my oppertunities to Stay in North Bay next year. Students on Stage...
Really hasn't done any of those things.
So, as Sos begins to cause more drama, and as tempers begin to flare way too soon (It's November, and I'm already in break-down mode??), I look at things and say, If I'm going to push through the crisis, there had better damned well be a reward at the end; some pay-off that will still matter 5 years from now.
SSW will do that, because if I graduate this year, I get a degree that will open the door to most jobs I want.
Red Cross will do that: it's a national organization that is recognized pretty much world wide (with the exception of the fact that the American and Canadian Red Cross are different: We have our Red Cross AND Canadian Blood Services, where the American Red Cross covers both Disaster Relief and Blood Services in one institution), that is respected, and that is going to (eventually) provide me an oppertunity to exercise my skills in this field.
NFF will do that, especially if we get stable in the community, and I start working on... Well, I'll wait until I've presented my idea, then I'll discuss it. And through that work, I now have contacts in at least 3 Agencies in North Bay alone.
Students on Stage may allow me oppertunity to exercise my transferable skills, but it's not recognized, it's barely LOCALLY known, and with the majority of this years executive graduating, it's fair to say that there's a change that SoS might not even EXIST 5 years from now.
Anyways.... I haven't resigned. I'm just... stepping back, until the 20th (post-Bon Jovi). At that point, I will know whether or not I'll be able to continue with the group. Or whether they want or need me back... 2 members of the exec have pretty clearly expressed that I'm not doing my job effectivly, and that Either of them would be more than estatic if I would vanish. They'd probably go at it gladiator style to do what I do their way.
No one there really gets it... There's no respect for what I do. They think I'm some fluffy little airhead who needs to be lead around by the hand. At least Adam and Sarah genuinely care about my mental health.
Anyways... I'm going to focus on getting better. I'm going to try and relax these next two weeks: work on my NaNo Novel, clean my cave, play with Sorrelle... Really just try and not worry about everything. I've left the Fundraising Committee in good hands, I think... Between Colleen, Katie and Adam, I'm sure no one will die, and we probably won't go broke.
I just need to sort some stuff out. That's all.