I am currently not a happy Sparky.
I swear, as soon as I get home from London (if we even go...), I'm ripping my room apart. Nathan's compleatly right... It's become a negative place for me. I'm not comfortable in here any more. It doesn't feel like my room yet. I'm still not sure how to fix that.
I'm going to talk to Angela Cupido again tomorrow. Her head's going to explode. Every counciler starts with the same question:
"So, how have things been since we spoke last?" (two weeks ago? maybe 3.)
My Response?
"Well, I'm about two weeks behind in my assignments, including some that are overdue, my work is screwing me over, I went from doing unpaid overtime to having no shifts at all, I'm broke, I can't sit still and write my papers because even the thought of it makes me nauseous, the picking has gotten worse, and Nathan and I had actually equated it to a need for sexual release, and though things are going well in the realtionship, the cops are investigating him because someone's pretending to be him and harassing our customers, Oh, and my sister is dropping out of Brock, and has started intentionally hurting herself, so my entire family is freaking out, and I have to be the voice of reason, because they want to put her on drugs, and mom's been on my case to find out things for her about OSAP and if she can get into Kings College next year, which I really know nothing about. But other than that, beh."
If I can do it all in one breath, they might up my dosage. Or test me for ADD again, either way.
But, yeah. I'm not happy with myself right now, and the family sitation is tense, and I feel like some of the people who used to be my best friends are complete strangers. And a quick thank you to Ducky, for being the kick in the ass I needed tonight. You're right. I'm not taking this seriously, and I need to stop bitching, chain myself to the computer and just get all this done.
So I will. Tonight.
I got the movie review done, and the journals (though they were on the late side...), so now I just need to hold my breath, bite down and get this unbelieveable tedious essay done.
Before my head caves in.
2 comments:
*breathe*
I believe Nathan is correct in saying that you must make your room a warm, inviting and comfortable space. Even though you may have late assignments, and pissed off at work, etc... perhaps take two hours and put everything away in your room, dust, sweep/vacuum, and perhaps do a bit of rearranging?
As for the essay forcing - and the nausea that comes with it, perhaps go to the library and work at it there? It is an academic place, and the things that are accomplished there under sheer miracles are amazing!
As for your family situations - OSAP information and King's College, that stuff is little stuff that shouldn't bother you. You can do it when you'd like to procrastinate on your essay (for example ONLY!), or if you'd like, I can find out some information for you - just ask :)
Lacey, take a few moments for your own sanity and just breathe. Everytime you take in a breath, think of the first thing you'd like to do after you finish your breathing... then do it with no arguements. :) The less you argue with yourself about the assignment, the more the assignment will not bring up the nausea, and it'll like you more because you are working on it.
If you need to talk, you have my number. I'm a great listener.
-Tabetha
One thing at a time, that's the only way to go. I hope I didn't come off as too much of a bitch, because I really didn't mean it. I'd like to see you get things sorted out and back to feeling positive and happy like you were at the beginning of the year. But hey, sometimes we all need a kick in the pants. And hey, you already got two of those things done. WOOT.
Have a talk with Angela and see what she can do to help you deal with things. And then after exams and papers are done, gut your room and start over. lol Actually, I did that over the summer, and it makes a huge difference.
It's so hard to work, and concentrate and even to sleep well if you don't feel as though a space is your own. Once things with school have calmed down, if you'd like a hand tackling your room, let me know. Apparently I'm pretty good at organizing. You wouldn't know it to look at my room, but we're not talking about me. . .Don't change the subject! ;)
Feel better.
Cheers,
Ducky
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