Flirt

So, it turns out the guy is just a blatant tease. Oh, well. Not that I actually had some hope that he may actually want me enought to spend a bit of time hanging out with me, go for coffee, have sex and eventually settle down in a modest studio apartment with a cat and big career plans. Oh no. That didn't happen at all.

Actually, it didn't. I was just hoping that there was someone in this frost-bitten little town that actually saw me as more than just an executive, another theatre tech or that girl who talks really loudly in the caf. I was hoping for more of a "Hey, your kinda interesting, wanna go for coffee/beer some night when we're both not busy?" response. Though, I suppose if that were the case, he would have come out and said "Hey, your kinda interesting, wanna go for coffee/beer some night when we're both not busy?", rather than literally sweeping me off my feet. Damn.

Ever get that feeling like you're going to be alone forever? I know I'm probably not, but I thought I'd accepted the fact that most guys don't see me as anything more than a casual fling. For some reason, this opened a wound... or threw salt in one that was already there. I guess I should try and be more self-sufficient: try and grow more into my independance, and try and see it as a good thing. Mom always said that the good ones pop up when you're not looking for them. Maybe it is time to just stop looking and... *sighs* Of course, that's not what I want to do. Maybe I need to put myself out there more: go out, do things where I could meet people, maybe open myself up more.

Maybe I just need a change of self.

To be Continued...?