Oh. My. God. I shouldn't ever be allowed to look at grocery store flyers ever again.
Ever since we got the paper this morning, all I can do is stare at the Food Basics flyer and wish I had unlimited funds to satisfy my Kitchen Lust. I'm planning dinners in my head, Imagining myself in my reindeer apron with oven mits and chargers and platters corkscrews and can openers... Boxes of stuffing and instant potatoes littering the countertops and the slow-cooker simmering away in the background, pots bubbling and something that smells like heaven baking in the oven... Maybe even a pie.
Yesterday, a catalogue came to work, some unsolicited flyer for a greeting card company, and I spent a solid 15 minutes gazing at the designs and colours and the unlasered edges of the envelopes, Plotting and planning how beautiful my house will look inshining bronze, deep greens and creamy beige ribbons, with linins and table runners and chair covers with bows.
Last night, as I was settling down for my average 6 hour nap per night, I found myself staring at Domestic magazines, My Home is Better than Yours, and Home Decor (you could never afford on your salary...), and dreaming having more than 4 plates at my disposal. Just the thought of a stainless steel appliance was like a dream, and the High/Low section made my stomach quiver in inappropriate ways.
Even now, RIGHT NOW, I'm thinking of Nano events with make-your-own Subs and those dinner-cup things mom used to make with the ground beef and the cheese in crispy bread, movie nights with home made hummus and olive-oil crackers, and Cocktails and Cleavage... the platters, the cheeses, the crispy rosemary (home grown, of course) chicken with mashed red potatoes, steamed veggies, real yorkshire puddings, garden salad and the knowledge that marble cheese cake, jam lattice-pie and proper english trifle wait in the wings...
Cookies and Nuts n' Bolts and Rice Crispy squares and caramel corn and popcorn on strings and christmas cards and stickers and stamps and mittens for stockings and herbs and bread and...and ministrone soup from scratch and OH GOD....
I think I'm turning into Martha Stewart.
*is thoroughly, truly terrified*
...save me?
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